happilyeverbeginning | Pass the test, t-taste the flesh (scrooge x magica)

He grasped her hand and kissed it before taking the phone. "I'll see you in two weeks then."

"I'll be thinking of you, forever and always."

And spying on him for just as long.

He kissed her cheek before he left the house, his mood crashing as soon as he left her presence. If only he could just stay in that little world of their own forever.

Unfortunately, time marched on, and a rather unhappy anniversary rolled around a few days later. And Magica likely would be very surprised to hear someone knocking loudly on her door.

To say Magica was startled was an understatement. She rarely got visitors - and those she did get were other vampires trying to horn in on her territory. Usually they had some smarmy speech ready, trying to seduce her, and they left bleeding and angry. Well, whoever this was would be the same, she'd tear them apart if she had to.

Her nails were sharp and fangs aching for blood, she opened the door and -

Oh. Uh. What?

"... Scrooge?"

"Yer doorbell'z--hiccup!--busht--hic!" he slurred out. "Ah've...Ah've been ringin' it fer agesh. Hilp!"

This was likely the drunkest that Magica had ever seen Scrooge. He wasn't wearing his typical clothing either. He was wearing a plain sweater that had a few stains from spilled alcohol and a battered old baseball cap whose team logo had long since faded though he still wore the spats. There was also a bit of dried vomit at the corner of his mouth, so he'd likely been at this for quite a while and had been sick at least once. Nobody would've recognized the drunken slob before her, and likely nobody would've thought much about him as long as he didn't cause a ruckus.

Saying that Scrooge was standing at the door was generous given he was more or less slouched against the wall beside the door where he'd likely thought the doorbell was. He looked as if he was about to pour himself out onto the floor to rest and finish off the bottle (a large thing that could arguably be called a small jug) that he held loosely in one hand.

Hyoat! He brought up his bottle hand to take a swig of the contents, belching as soon as he'd added the latest gulp to the brewery in his gut.

Goodness gracious, what was this sight? Scrooge had been drunk in her presence before, but it'd never been this bad. It was nearly disgusting. There was a flicker of worry about needing to enchant him so he'd see the "house"... but given his state, was he even able to see anything at all?

She hesitated, then took his hands. "All right, darling, here I am. Let's get you to lay down..."

The fact that he'd been able to see well enough to hail a taxi and give a coherent address was impressive. He'd certainly seen the house he'd expected to see at the address...though "seen" was a bit of a stretch given how blurry and wobbly everything was.

He stumbled forward to nuzzle her, and it was up for debate whether the sloshing came from the bottle in his hand or himself.

"Only if yer gonna lay down--HICCUP!"

He guffawed with laughter, not even noticing the tears.

Yikes, his breath - as much as she wanted him to be more amorous, this wasn't exactly how she intended it. She held onto his hand and began leading him to the bedroom - not to make love, but to make sure he wasn't going to vomit everywhere.

"How about we save the sweetness until you're off your feet?"

Really, it was a good thing she'd had her fill from him already. Very likely she would've gotten drunk for real off of a sample from him now.

He blindly stumbled after her, swaying so much that it was a miracle he didn't just tumble to the floor and drag her down with him.

In the bedroom, she pulled the top sheets off so that when he laid down she could tuck him in. It might have seemed like a tender act, but she had to keep it up, so he wouldn't grow suspicious of her.

... So she told herself.

"Down you go. Nice and easy."

He sat down on the edge of the bed, swaying a bit despite sitting down. He hiccuped, causing his entire body to wobble dangerously before he brought the bottle to his beak and he gulped down four large swallows. Lowering the bottle, he unleashed another loud belch.

"So howz yer--hic!--been?"

"Very confused, perhaps flattered." She slowly tried to take the bottle from him.

"Is there any... particular reason you decided to indulge without me?"

Thinking she wanted some, he released the bottle so she could have a turn.

"Iz an im--burrrrrrrp--impurtent anniversisery tuhday. HIC! Iz when the bloody rocket went up."

He started reaching for the bottle again.

Ah. That would do it. During her research, it had come up - but now this was a conflict. The average person had no idea about Della, and even if he was hammered to high heaven, she couldn't risk him suspecting her now.

"A rocket?" She feigned curiosity, placing the bottle away on a bedroom drawer and trying to keep it out of his reach. "Whatever are you talking about?"

"How'd ye miss--HIC! Wuz all o'er the newshpehperz." He then blinked slowly at her. "But yer probibly too young tae remem--HICCUP!--remem--HYULP!" He sat there, swaying with each full-body jerk from a hiccup fit that lasted a solid minute. Once they stopped, he wobbled back and forth before asking, "Wha wuz we talkin' 'bout uhgin?"

He tried to grab the bottle again, leaning over towards the wobbling image. Just a little farther...

Little did he know he was going to fall right off the bed if she didn't do something fast.

Was he like this every year the anniversary came up? Was the housekeeper usually the one to take care of him? Would she suspicious of where he was now? Would -

Oh, gods. "Easy, easy, easy." She repeated, grabbing his wrists and pushing him back onto the bed. She didn't want to use her vampire strength and get him curious, so she tried to gently put him on his back. "I think you've had more than enough."

Right now she could've had all the strength of a dandelion and moved him about. He leaned backward to follow her guidance and there was definitely a slosh as he gave a massive HICCUP and flopped the rest of the way back onto the bed.

HYOAT! He rested a hand on his stomach which definitely had put on quite a bit of not-really-water weight. He'd likely been at this for hours: drinking, periodically being sick, probably sleeping some of it off, then waking up to resume the vicious cycle.

"Nao Ah 'member. HIC! Alwuz do," he whimpered. With his free hand he reached out blindly to where he'd probably had a bottle during an earlier part of the binge.

Guess this would make her his nursemaid. Not exactly the glamorous, seductive role she had planned on being, but there was no backing out now.

If he was going to keep trying, she'd have to stick around and make sure he didn't make himself sicker. She moved to sit on the bed, blocking him from the bottle with her body.

"Can you sleep?"

He shook his head, burping a bit. "E'ry time Ah shut me eyes--HIC!--Ah ssssssee 'er callin' fer me. An-An--HICCUP!--an' then thar's jusssss thoze awful werds: 'Tranzmishion Losht'. An-An-HICCUP! HIC! HICCUP! HYOAT!"

He draped the arm of the hand previously groping blindly for a bottle over his eyes as he sobbed and hiccuped, his body jerking so much that she could likely hear more sloshing as his stomach held and slowly processed all that wine.

There were two ways to go about this, and Magica went for the easier, cheating option. It wasn't guaranteed to work, but it was worth a shot.

She grabbed his wrist again so she could free his face and looked at his eyes, going for a burst of enchantment.

"Sleep a dreamless sleep," she commanded softly, "Silence your memories and your mind."

Unfortunately, it didn't work. Or at least, not right away. Fat tears ran down his cheeks as he gazed up at her from the bottom of an emotional well so deep and dark that he never thought he'd feel real joy ever again.

He squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head away as he kept sobbing and hiccuping. Gods, he was so pathetic. It was only appropriate that she saw it so she understood just what she was getting attached to. If she was kind enough to let him stay one last night, she likely would be urging him to leave and never darken her door again in the morning.

Magica sighed quietly. All right, that left the other option.

She sat up a bit to take off her shoes and get comfortable, before going under the covers with him and holding him from behind. Oh well, it wasn't as if she had any big plans tonight anyway. She'd stay with him like this all night and all day, if need be.

"'Er babiez hadnae e'en hashed yet!" he sobbed. "An' Ah killed 'er! HICCUP! Wha kinda monshter killz 'iz own nieshe?!"

Would he even listen to her if she tried talking to him? One way to find out.

"I wouldn't welcome a murderer into my home," she replied, hands together on his chest, her beak resting on his shoulder. "Nor would I let a monster into my bed."

"Ye-Ye didnae know abou'--HICCUP!--'er! Ye didnae know what Ah did!"

But she did now. Or at least she had enough puzzle pieces to look it up.

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