Pass the test, t-taste the flesh (scrooge x magica)

[blackmagicduck]

 One of the disadvantages of immortal youth was that it sometimes limited her options. If she wanted something fresh and young, she needed to be where the fresh and young people where, and gods, their music was awful. What happened to the good old days of violins and organs?

So imagine her surprise as she viewed the buffet to find one snack that looked older than most. She raised an eyebrow - he didn't seem to be in any midlife crisis. The exact opposite, in fact - like if he had any real choice, he wouldn't be here. Well... she could fix that for him.

She licked her lips, and then made her way across the room. A gorgeous beauty like her, it was like parting the ocean waves with a hand. She was by his side within seconds, sizing him up.

Nice, very nice. He even smelled delicious.

"Congratulations, you're the most miserable person here, and I think that includes the janitor."

Comments

[richestduck]

"Okay, I know for a fact that that's bull. If water burned you, every drop of blood you drank would be agony," he said with a snort. "Your entire kind would starve to death."

He took the wine and sipped from the glass before setting it down to pick up a sandwich.

[blackmagicduck]

"I understand people trying to get creative with my kind, but this is insane." She giggled, shaking her head.

[richestduck]

"Oh modern vampire lore gets worse from what I hear. Apparently sunlight gives you glitter skin now," he teased.

[blackmagicduck]

Magica held up a hand in the "stop" position.

"We do not speak of that atrocity."

[richestduck]

Scrooge snickered. "Do vampires shy away from anyone holding those books?"

[blackmagicduck]

"We have to, otherwise we get the urge to beat them with the book." She huffed, leaning on him.

[richestduck]

"More effective than garlic then," Scrooge noted.

He turned his attention back to the screen as the vampire hunters started decapitating corpses and burning the bodies before running through one of the performers.

"...And nobody tried to stop them...?"

[blackmagicduck]

"Must be a typical Tuesday for those villagers." Magica relaxed, the unintentional hilarity of the movie putting her at ease.

[richestduck]

"So killing a vampire in a full tavern? Nothing special. Defiling the corpses of an entire carnival that was attacked by a vampire? Normal. Yet vampires are exotic enough to be carnival sideshows?" He shook his head, picking up his wine glass. "Apparently I need to be drunker to understand the logic."

[blackmagicduck]

She moved to snuggle up in his lap, enjoying his warmth and softness. "The logic is that blood and sex sells. All praise Hollywood."

[richestduck]

"Our culture dies not in darkness but in the cinema," Scrooge snorted.

[blackmagicduck]

"You always have a way with words, Scroogie." She closed her eyes, merely enjoying his presence.

[richestduck]

Scrooge took a sip of wine before he set down the glass to gesture at the screen. "Oh come on, that lass was charming a man. How would she know she'd follow a woman?!" He paused as the titular character started drinking from the vampire. "And I doubt vampires can drink from each other!"

[blackmagicduck]

"Well, technically, it's not impossible." Magica admitted with a wave of her hand. "But that's only for an emergency. Drinking blood from another vampire is extremely difficult, and it's like taking their lifespan. When you drain a mortal, they still have blood left over and can replenish it. But vampires... we have little to no blood in the first place. Taking away what little we have can kill us."

[richestduck]

"But not like that, I take it," he said, pointing at how the female vampire suddenly looked like a shriveled husk as she fell to the ground.

[blackmagicduck]

Magica snorted. "Definitely not. And we do try to drink as far away from public view as possible."

[richestduck]

"...Wow. I'm already setting into the mindset of this stupid movie: I didn't even stop and think about how that vampire was charming a man in the middle of a busy tent," Scrooge groaned.

[blackmagicduck]

Another devious giggle. "Oh no. I'm losing my dear darling."

[richestduck]

"Soon you'll have a mindless slave to ravage as you will," he joked back, kissing her neck.

[blackmagicduck]

"And that's supposed to be bad, right...?" She purred, stroking his head.

[richestduck]

"I knew it: You only like me for my blood type," he joked.

[blackmagicduck]

"It's your own fault for being so delicious." She cupped his cheek and kissed him.

[richestduck]

He kissed her back before downing the rest of his glass. Gods, this movie was terrible. Maybe if he got drunk enough, he'd erase the thing from his memory.

Not likely but one could dream.

[blackmagicduck]

Magica resumed snuggling, not really paying the movie any attention. She was much more content to sit here and cuddle, petting his chest.

[richestduck]

Scrooge slowly ate and drank for the rest of the film, frequently nuzzling the woman in his lap. The nuzzling increased the drunker he got, feeling the need to be more affectionate to make sure she didn't think he was more interested in the movie or the wine.