i'm your venus, i'm your fire (magica x scrooge)

[lifesa_witch]

 Immortality tended to get boring. Whether she was booted out of the divine halls or voluntarily left depended on who you asked. As far as Magica De Spell was concerned, the mortals deserved to be in her presence every so often to entertain her. She flitted from village to village, trying to find someone worthy of her time, but alas, her standards were very high.

Then she learned to hear the whispers, the rumors, about a clan that rose from the depths of defeat and refused to stay down. The next head was a strong, determined lad who worked to the bone every day to bring glory to the family name. Curious about such a man, Magica walked along the dirt and the stones to where the man supposedly traveled for his wares. For now, she disguised her presence, allowing herself to be ignored by all living things so she could observe without being seen.

After all, when it came down to it, she wasn't going to hit it if this McDuck wasn't a looker.

Comments

[richestduck]

"...This is the god of war."

Hortense was Not Impressed. She snorted at the newcomer.

"He looks like a Whiskerville. Same stupid attitude."

[lifesa_witch]

Oh, goodness, Hortense was going to get herself killed. "SHUSH."

Hearing the noise, Quackmore strutted over, laughing. "Well, well, well! Magica De Spell! I thought I sniffed you around here."

Magica showed a surprising amount of humility, bowing and keeping her voice low. "It's an honor, Quackmore. But I assure you, nothing worth your time is here. I am merely observing my worshippers."

"Mmm, is that right?" He cocked his head, looking at Hortense. "Blessed be your day, pretty thing! I traveled all this way to grace your little town, why not reward me with your finest meats, chop chop."

[richestduck]

Hortense glared and crossed her arms. "How about you go down to the pub and pay for some yourself?"

[lifesa_witch]

Magica quickly stood up straight. "Hortense, JUST GO INSIDE."

Quackmore raised an eyebrow. "Oi, oi, little girl. Do you know who you're talking to?" He looked her up and down. "Still, given what a lovely lass you are, I can overlook a little rudeness..." He leaned in. "How about a kiss on the cheek, eh?"

[richestduck]

Hortense gave a toothy grin, almost like a lioness showing her fangs while flexing her claws at the idiot prey that had wandered into her den. "I'll do you one better."

And with that, Hortense brought her hand back, formed, a fist, and landed a haymaker on Quackmore's chin.

[lifesa_witch]

Quackmore, not realizing the trouble he was in, wiggled his eyebrows before leaning in. "Is that right?" Thinking he'd actually get a little liplock...

DING-DING-DING, K.O.!

She actually sent the man flying a good two or three feet before landing with a heavy THUD on the ground, his twitching legs the only sign he was alive and conscious.

Magica's jaw hung open in abject horror - before grabbing Hortense by the shoulders and shaking her back and forth violently. "DO YOU HAVE ROCKS FOR BRAINS?! That was the GOD OF WAR you just sucker-punched!"

[richestduck]

"How long have you known me now?" Hortense harrumphed, not in the least bit impressed. She grabbed Magica's wrists and squeezed them to force her to let go. "He's not dead. What's the problem?"

[lifesa_witch]

"YOU'RE GUNNA BE DEAD, THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" Magica screeched. "He can wipe out entire continents when he's in a bad mood! Unless you get on your knees and apologize, we have to start running now!" She then began to pull her own hair, trying to think of a good escape and defense strategy. "Maybe Ludwig can find some good places to hide, and I could put you all under a barrier, ahhhhh this is so baaaad...!"

Quackmore, after a few more bouts of twitching, slowly began to get up...

[richestduck]

Hortense snorted and marched over to Quackmore, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oi!" she snapped. "Is that the best the big bad God of War can do? A wee little jab from a mortal can send you reeling that easily? Pathetic!"

[lifesa_witch]

"WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?!" Magica screamed, ready to tear out her hair in frustration.

Quackmore rose to his feet, rubbing his chin. "Miss... that was..."

Magica raced to Hortense's side - maybe if she used enough divine magic, she could buy them some time -

"Absolutely incredible!" He squealed, eyes aglow in wonder. "What a left hook! Can you do a right one?!"

[richestduck]

"You tell me."

And with that, Hortense cold-cocked him with her right fist, proving that, yes, her right hand was her dominant hand.

She then turned to Magica. "Let's let him sleep it off."

[lifesa_witch]

... What the actual hell. Magica stared, slowly looking back and forth between the god and the mortal. "Wha... buh... huh?"

Quackmore was, again, sprawled out on the ground, little more than a mess of twitching limbs - except this time there was a very happy face plastered on his beak.

[richestduck]

Hortense turned away from Quackmore and began walking back towards the castle.

"Come on, Magica. We've got work to do. Just leave him."

[lifesa_witch]

... Maybe this was actually part of one those long dreams she'd told Scrooge about. Yes, that was the only thing that made sense. Magica slowly followed Hortense along, eyelid twitching. "This... this whole family is bananas..."

[richestduck]

"Welcome to Clan McDuck. Are you sure you want to be dicked by crazy?" Hortense asked crassly.

[lifesa_witch]

"Shut up." Pause. "Yes."

[richestduck]

Hortense cackled the whole way back to the castle.

Scrooge looked up from exercising a horse when he heard her. "Do I want to know?"

[lifesa_witch]

Why bother lying?

"She punched out the god of war. Twice." Magica deadpanned, exhaustion clear in her eyes.

[richestduck]

"...I'm more shocked by the god of war even coming here than by Hortense punching him out, honestly."

[lifesa_witch]

As always, Magica wouldn't admit the blame she had in anything. "There wouldn't have been a risk if Hortense would've kept her trap shut and stopped trying to anger me!"

[richestduck]

"What was she talking about that made you angry?" Pause. "This time?"

[lifesa_witch]

She gave him a look. "What else would we possibly be talking about? The reason I'm here!" In other words, him.

[richestduck]

"Well, you learned your lesson then."

[lifesa_witch]

"Yes. Your whole family is the most ridiculous, insane, backwards, STUBBORN batch of mortals that has ever existed!"

[richestduck]

"Clan McDuck didn't thrive in Dismal Downs by being pushovers," Scrooge said with a shrug.