happilyeverbeginning | toss a coin to your witcher (dumb duck trio)

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toss a coin to your witcher (dumb duck trio)

"She used her dark magics on my husband, and now he sees her shadow in the mirror every night!"
"He killed an entire farm-hands livestock, all for his own twisted amusement."
"They have a garden full of statues that were once children, now frozen in time forever..."

As Scrooge McDuck - world's richest duck, famed adventurer, and also expert monster hunter - continued his research into the "mages of the mountain", he found each new rumor was more outlandish than the last. Sure, there were a few things that were consistent - the two were twins, beautiful in their own way, and fiercely loyal to one another - but after that, each new round of gossip could make them sound like petulant children or gods themselves. Whatever troubles the villagers were having, be it bad weather or failing crops, it was surely the fault of the De Spell family.

And yes, perhaps the manor of the twins - lofted right into the side of the highest hill, with decaying greenery entwined all around the massive stone steps - was a little something out of a gothic horror novel. Dark colors, eerie structure, and maybe a cracked gargoyle or two. The cry of a raven could be found in the distance. But if these twins were as powerful as so whispered, why couldn't they afford to fix the twisted rafters from the windows, or cover the drafts from moldy holes? The land itself was probably pricey property, and many would pay handsomely for it... if some particular vermin was exterminated.

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He sounded sincere, at least. Poe sighed quietly, a bit uncomfortable as he crossed his arms. "... We still can't promise it's all accurate information. And even if it is, you should know many a Noonwraith can't be soothed. By the time they've reached that form, their anger is solidified, and eventually they'll begin to grab victims that aren't even related to the 'crime' at hand. They just want everyone to suffer as they have."

Magica closed her eyes for a moment, trying to rack her brain for any further information. "No mother in the picture, I believe. The father couldn't get back his money from the wedding... had to sell the farm, and now takes whatever job's available. There were never any apologies or condolences. Everyone distanced themselves from it - if it wasn't their problem, they didn't have to think about it. Few times I've seen the man, he looks ready to be at death's door himself... he might even welcome it."

Scrooge sighed. "I know. I just have to try."

And if the De Spells were studying him closely enough, they might notice that he did have some magical evidence of the fae blood in him.

More importantly was the determined look on his face.

"Regardless, I'm not going to be stupid and go entirely unarmed in case things don't work out. Now that I know what I'm up against, I'll need to adjust what I have on hand.

"I believe that the villagers mentioned that one or both of you is good with alchemy...?"

Magica made a wave-y gesture to Poe, who did indeed raise his hand. "That would be me. Magica's better at creating and experimentation, whereas my strength is in memorization and application."

"And fashion." Magica quipped.

"And fashion." No love loss there. "When it comes to creatures like Noonwraiths, your best bet is a good helping of moon dust and specter oil... both of which I have in abundance. Never know when you might need them." He rose from his seat, likely intending to get it.

"Though they are rare ingredients," Magica pointed out, eyebrow raised. "So handing them over so easily should come with some... compensation."

"After all this, you think I'm going to try and rob you blind?" Scrooge teased. He waved a hand carelessly. "Feel free to mark up the price a bit. I'll just add it to my fee down in the village. I told them I expected to be reimbursed for any additional supplies I might need. Just write me up a receipt in case they try to challenge it."

He smirked.

"They don't need to know where I purchased those supplies from."

"That does leave the door open to robbing you blind." Magica said with a snort, and her raven tried to imitate the noise.

Poe tsked. "Now now, sister... a man who came all this way, and knows this much, probably can tell when he's being swindled. Let's make sure we leave him a fair amount." He then flashed his own similar smirk. "Depending on how one defines fair." And with a chuckle, he walked off into room.

"I'm no idiot. I know what I'm asking for is worth. If you inflate the price too much, I'll haggle it down." He tapped the brim of his hat. "It's the Scotsman in me. We're cheap. However, it's not my money I'm spending in this case so I'm willing to be a little less ruthless."

Which amused him to no end. Ah, it was so nice to buy and trade in-person for once instead of the massive piles of stocks and other goods he worked with on a regular basis.

"Would you two mind if I sat down for a bit?"

Magica waited until Poe was far enough away in another room that he wouldn't hear if she lowered her voice. "If you sit near me, Poe will leap across the room and strangle you." She deadpanned, with Ratface giggling. "Sit in that chair over there... the arm should stop wobbling by now."

Scrooge chuckled as he walked to the indicated chair. "Sounds like me with my sisters."

Not that Matilda and Hortense couldn't hold their own, but it was a big brother's responsibility to terrorize his little sisters' boyfriends.

"Supposedly you can't turn them into toads and then hex their tongues and eyes."

... It was extremely difficult to tell if Magica was kidding.

After a sigh, she leaned back into her seat, her eyes a bit distant. "... Our parents died when we were very young. We're the only family we have. So... we tend to get a tad clingy to one another, to put it lightly."

"Not to mention the twin bond. You two have literally been together your whole lives," Scrooge pointed out. "No, lass, there's no need for an explanation for why you two are so close. It's a bit enviable, really."

He gave an unrepentant grin.

"I might not have turned them into toads and hexed their tongues and eyes but I certainly made them wish I had."

Destroying someone's entire financial world was one way to make the hurt last.

Magica's beak twitched, as if she was suppressing the urge to smile. She really didn't want to admit to enjoying the company of an outsider. It almost felt like a betrayal to her brother.

"You're almost starting to sound more powerful than we are. Not a wise thing to say."

"Didn't mean to make that mistake," Scrooge said with a half-bow in his chair. "I just know how to work with what I have. When you lack magic, you need to get creative."

Though money certainly helped as Magica probably suspected.

"Which is a shame," Poe suddenly finished, re-entering the room with a small satchel and a large glass container, holding the ingredients Scrooge needed. "Because when it comes to magic, no one is more creative than Magica."

She, however, rolled her eyes. "That's not exactly what he needs to know to help our reputation..."

Scrooge reached out to take the items. "Thank you. How much do I -- or rather the village -- owe you?"

He was prepared to do financial battle if necessary but...honestly he hoped they didn't have to haggle too much. The longer that noonwraith was around, the worse things would become.

The twins shared another look, then mutually nodded.

"You can pay us after the damn thing is dead." Poe answered first.

"Because for all we know, you're bluffing a huge ton of smoke, and you'll be dead by dinner." Magica said bluntly. "Taking the money from a future corpse is cursed no matter how you spin it."

Scrooge frowned. "I can't do that. If I do bite it, that's stealing from you two. And I'm not a thief."

"Supplies can be restored." Magica said flippantly. "Lives, however, cannot."

"Quite true." Poe sat beside his sister. "For now, all we have is your word. You want to pay us? Then get the villagers off our back by getting rid of that creature."

"Done. And if I want to uphold my end of the bargain, I'd best be off sooner rather than later."

He got up from his seat and tipped his top hat to the pair.

"Thank you for all your help."

Don't go thinking they were any sort of noble or kind, sir! This was just being practical!

"If you die, we'd prefer you didn't haunt us." Poe couldn't help but quip.

Magica shrugged one shoulder. "Actually, it'd be a nice reprieve from all the boredom..."

Scrooge tossed a wave over his shoulder. "Don't worry! I have a whole list of enemies to haunt first should that happen!"

He left the house, pleased as punch. Hopefully, he wouldn't need to use the oils on the noonwraith. Perhaps he could calm her wrath, help her move on.

He was still planning to charge an arm and a leg to the village, of course. Finding out the girl's sad story, he was debating charging two legs instead of just the one.

----------

Silver bullets and silver dagger coated in the oil from the De Spells? Check. The name of the poor girl in question? Check...though that question had been met with many a villager looking away as they demanded to know why he'd wanted to know. (In the end, it was a child that had told him the girl's actual name. He'd made sure to tip the little boy well for that, making sure that the child knew that he'd helped the "nice lady" go to a better place all while fervently wishing for that outcome.)

Now for the hard part.

He entered into the area, checking his pocket watch. Five minutes to spare. He'd already taken in the lay of the land on a previous visit. He hoped it wouldn't come to a fight. The poor lass had been through enough.

Each second was its own eternity. He reviewed and re-reviewed the information in his mind, focusing on where the girl was supposed to appear.

Right on schedule, the noonwraith manifested, drifting sorrowfully for a moment before opening her mouth.

"Marzia Biancardi!" he called to her, mentally crossing his fingers. If she was so far gone that she didn't recognize her own name --

The noonwraith paused, looking towards him. She hovered there, clearly surprised.

His heart leaped with hope. She still knew her name.

He smiled at her, placing a hand over his heart as he gave her a little bow. "Hello, lass. My name is Scrooge McDuck. I heard about what happened to you. It was a monstrous thing he did. He deserved what he got. And it's a damn shame his brother-in-law got away from you, but he'll get his sooner or later."

The noonwraith quietly wept in front of him, wringing her hands.

He extended his hand to her. "I know you're trapped here. You don't deserve this, but I can Send you on."

She drifted backwards, afraid.

"Oh, lassie, I doubt what's waiting for you is one of the bad ones," he soothed. "I've seen many a specter like you on and I've yet to run into one who didn't have a Paradise of some sort waiting for them.

"But will you let me?"

Scrooge and the spirit weren't alone, but this third party wasn't planning on interfering anytime soon. Even if he wasn't a coward by nature, his mistress had ordered him only to watch and report back.

Ratface made himself small and scrawny in the shadows, only wanting Scrooge to succeed so that these pesky villagers left his family alone. Still, he was much like the twins in that he wasn't entirely sure the man would make it. He held his breath as he waited, wondering if the creature would go into the here-after with just a few pleas.

Scrooge smiled at her. "Please. Let me lead you home."

She slowly extended her hand, looking like she was going to take his. Then fury filled her face as she saw something behind him. She started screeching, knocking Scrooge aside.

He rolled with the blow, ending back on his feet. He saw the brother-in-law with a preacher who was shakily attempting some sort of exorcism.

"No, no, goddammit! You need to get out of here!"

He was so close! She wanted to let go and move on -- he could see that -- but these absolute morons...!

Ratface clicked his tongue, not terribly surprised. Of course the villagers wanted to take credit for "saving" the village, and probably not wanting the pay the outsider if he couldn't get rid of the Spells.

He had been instructed to leave things be... but... well. If this man could well and truly keep his mistress safe? Familiars and loyalty went hand in hand.

With a nervous and shaky breath, he took to the sky, flying faster than the creature could shamble. He intended to merely give the priest a good scare - flap wings in his face, maybe rip up a bible with his talons - and see how much time that could buy.

The preacher was completely unprepared for the assault. He threw up his hands and shouted in fear, interrupting his prayers.

Scrooge ran past the noonwraith, coming to a stop between her and the idiotic duo. He turned his head slightly. "Run as fast as you can back to the village!"

"It needs to die!" the brother-in-law shouted.

"She's already dead!" Scrooge snarled, keeping one eye on the noonwraith as she considered her options. He stepped this way and that to keep between the two factions. "If you don't leave now, not only will I let her have you but I'll make sure you won't be able to get away!"

"You wouldn't -- !"

BANG! Fast as lightning, Scrooge had drawn his revolver and fired at the dirt less than an inch away from the shrieking man's foot. He hated wasting a good bullet (particularly one of the silvers), but right now he had no other options. The situation was spiraling out of control.

The brother-in-law backpedaled as fast as he could.

"For the last time, get out of here!" Scrooge snarled.

The brother-in-law fled, leaving the preacher with Ratface.

Ratface didn't like the sound of gunfire - the speed of a spell versus a bullet was often unfair - so he dove to the ground, covering his head. He was no brave hero, he just wanted to get this over with! When a second shot didn't follow, he sighed with relief, lifting his head.

"... Well, what are you waiting for?" He couldn't help but snark. "A pretty please?"

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