happilyeverbeginning | toss a coin to your witcher (dumb duck trio)

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toss a coin to your witcher (dumb duck trio)

"She used her dark magics on my husband, and now he sees her shadow in the mirror every night!"
"He killed an entire farm-hands livestock, all for his own twisted amusement."
"They have a garden full of statues that were once children, now frozen in time forever..."

As Scrooge McDuck - world's richest duck, famed adventurer, and also expert monster hunter - continued his research into the "mages of the mountain", he found each new rumor was more outlandish than the last. Sure, there were a few things that were consistent - the two were twins, beautiful in their own way, and fiercely loyal to one another - but after that, each new round of gossip could make them sound like petulant children or gods themselves. Whatever troubles the villagers were having, be it bad weather or failing crops, it was surely the fault of the De Spell family.

And yes, perhaps the manor of the twins - lofted right into the side of the highest hill, with decaying greenery entwined all around the massive stone steps - was a little something out of a gothic horror novel. Dark colors, eerie structure, and maybe a cracked gargoyle or two. The cry of a raven could be found in the distance. But if these twins were as powerful as so whispered, why couldn't they afford to fix the twisted rafters from the windows, or cover the drafts from moldy holes? The land itself was probably pricey property, and many would pay handsomely for it... if some particular vermin was exterminated.

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Oh Scrooge wasn't expecting little in return. Acting as guardian of the area was guaranteed to be a fulltime job. And without having to keep an eye on the area himself, it freed him and his people up to keep the economic ball rolling.

Everybody won in some way.

Scrooge grinned at them. "Well, things have a way of working out one way or another. Speaking of, I've been doing some thinking and wanted to run some ideas by you, but I couldn't help noticing the technology in this house is a bit dated. Is that because you couldn't afford anything newer or is this what you're used to?"

"Both." The twins answered in unison.

"How can we afford what we don't know about?" Magica replied, and Poe followed along with, "It's kept us alive this long, we hardly saw need for change."

But they still desired change, if Magica's long list from earlier was any indication.

"Plus, anything new will always cost more than anything old."
"And we've been barely making ends meet as it is."
"The family's treasury has been keeping us afloat."
"And even that will run out eventually."

A fate they dreaded to think about, and could only hope was far, far away in the future.

Scrooge nodded his understanding. "Well, part of these renovations are to make it so that you can stretch your pennies that much farther. With the generator, you'll have plenty of power which means you could have a proper greenhouse. You'd have fresh fruits, vegetables, and herbs all year 'round. That'll save you plenty at the grocer's. Perhaps a little aquafarm for some fish. Could grow food for them in the greenhouse and the water cycling out of their tanks fertilizes your plants. Make it so you'd only have to rely on the town for dairy or fresh bread."

He popped the chip he'd been toying with in his mouth, chewing for a moment.

"I realize that a lot of this will likely be using tech you're not familiar with, so I'll make sure you're up-to-speed before I toss you to the proverbial wolves." He winked.

Again, mutual looks of puzzlement. This kind of technology almost sounded like another form of magic, that's how foreign it was to them. At least Magica seemed pleased by what she had understood, smiling as she thought of a larger garden and more to work with. Poe noticed her expression, and frowned a little - he wanted to stop his poor sister from working in the mud and dirt, not encourage it.

Still, reality was a harsh mistress. "They are going to wonder why we're getting all these fancy new things, while they're being left high and dry." Magica pointed out. "So perhaps a few security measures should be added to all these new features."

"Only a fool would leave them out," Scrooge agreed with a nod. "And if they want to know why I'm investing in you and not them, well, they can ask me about it. I'd be happy to explain it to them." He gave a somewhat vicious grin. "I've got these pesky things called 'morals' that they've merrily trampled all over."

"He says as if we have them," Magica replied dryly. She didn't think they really had them, only that killing all the villagers would be more of a bother than morally repugnant.

"But I doubt they could do anything really damaging in the long run, at this rate." Poe had to add. "They had their chance before our knight in shining armor came along."

"They're welcome to try. It might even be funny to watch."

The windows were going to be made of impact resistant glass designed to weather a Category 5 hurricane. Someone attempting to throw bricks through the windows would likely end up with their intended projectile rebounding and smacking them right in the face.

After how much it was going to cost to fix things up, there was no chance he was going to let it be ruined by a bunch of nitwits.

Magica chuckled, but Poe shook his head. He'd rather have trouble avoid them then invite it on in.

With the meal mostly finished, Poe was the one to get up first and gently nudge his sister to do the same. "Enlightening as this all has been, we must retire and get our beauty sleep."

Magica predictably grumbled. "I am not a child, Poe, I don't need to be told when my bedtime is."

"Someone has to watch over the most beautiful girl in the world, and that duty falls to me." He kissed her hair before taking her by the arm.

"I'll be up a bit longer but you two sleep well," Scrooge told them as he got up from the table, collecting the dishes and taking them to the sink.

Washing the dishes was always a good time to ~~plot~~ think.

When the legion of employees returned the following day, they'd find the twins weren't... well, they weren't nicer, but they weren't as cold and snobby as before. Questions were answered with a modicum of respect, and Magica even allowed one or two of them to pet Ratface. (Mostly to see them jump when he revealed he could talk.)

As the twins predicted, such a huge amount of people and supplies heading for the manor caught the attention of the village. Surely the magical menaces had spelled all of them! Why else would the world's richest duck waste time on them? Oh, how to save those poor souls!

The first several days were spent fixing the structural issues. The cracks in the foundation were filled. The wood rot? Cut out and replaced with new flooring. Old holes in the walls? Replaced with new paneling after new wiring was installed.

At first it was all done with hand tools despite how grueling the work was. The team gave a loud cheer as the geothermal generator started running. One of the electricians had wired up an old chandelier that she'd polished back up for electric lights, and -- for probably the first time in the De Spells' lives -- electricity lit up a room. As more of the wiring was installed and power was flowing into the old house, the power tools came out, speeding up the process exponentially.

It was loud, of course, which meant that a lot of time Scrooge and the twins would be outdoors until they were called in for one thing or another. Not that there wasn't anything for them to do. With the installation of the water pump and its filtration system, plans for a greenhouse were already being drawn up with some preliminary ideas to allow for maximum usage of each square inch both horizontally and vertically thanks to the proposed hydroponics system. Scrooge had challenged the De Spells to challenge his team, telling them to draw up a list of every plant they thought they might even think of needing for their work. And there were also ideas tossed around for an attached potions building, allowing the twins to go directly from the potions work area to the greenhouse. Some even brought up the idea of having a way to get there directly from the house so even if there was a storm, the greenhouse and potions building would still be accessible.

By the end of the week, the basic repairs of the house were finished. The last piece put in place was a glorious circular stained-glass window that looked more like a painting than simple stained glass bearing the view of a flock of ravens flying over Vesuvius. It had been a bit tricker to make this from the same impact-resistant glass as all the other new windows, but it was worth it.

Scrooge waved to the last of his workers as they headed home for the weekend before turning back to the twins. "Well now. Not a bad start, eh?"

Edited 2022-08-08 18:52 (UTC)

It was perhaps the chandelier lighting up that the whole process finally felt real to the Spells. That Scrooge and his employees weren't going to up and abandon them when things got boring - Magica herself got a little misty-eyed seeing the chandelier light up, and Poe held her close, trying to hide his smile in her hair. While they didn't improve their manners too much with the rest of the workers, Scrooge was almost treated like royalty. It was thanks to him this was happening, after all. Even Ratface was becoming more tolerant of him.

While they still didn't understand why Scrooge insisted on staying behind each time, they were no longer complaining about it. Secretly, they rather wished he'd stay there forever.

"I'd thank you again, but I suspect you're tiring of it at this point." Magica quipped, able to hide feelings under snark.

"Indeed, we would have been satisfied if this was the end result, not the start." Poe said with a light chuckle.

"I believe in doing things right when making a new investment." He gave them a grin. "But it's good seeing you two enjoy your home so far."

The old appliances were still there on account of new ones being crafted to look like the old. Sleek new appliances would stick out like a sore thumb. No, this house was going to be a showcase of what Scrooge's restoration team could really do. Even without the fact that the De Spells needed a proper home if they were going to take up guardianship of this area again, the photos showing the before and after of the house would have customers flocking to his people to restore old homes to shining new.

The twins smiled equally at Scrooge for his sincerity, which they used to believe didn't exist... But then those smiles vanished, as they spotted someone coming to the house that wasn't one of Scrooge's employees. No, the nervous looking little weasel walking on the broken stone steps was the mayor of the village.

"He's got some nerve," Magica hissed.

"Pay him no mind, sister dear." Poe said, but it was clear he was just as angry.

The Mayor's eyes darted back and forth between the twins and Scrooge before finally settling on the world's richest duck. "Ah... g-good day to you, Mister McDuck! Surely you remember me... might we have a word... in, uh, private?"

Scrooge held off on responding right away, instead reaching into his pocket and opening up his cellphone.

"You're three days past when I expected you. Meaning either you've been thinking things over since I rejected your quaint little town's proposal or it took you longer than I expected to work up the nerve to get up here." He snapped the flip phone closed. (The real reason he didn't upgrade: There was something so satisfying about that snap. Like closing a pocket watch back in the old days.) "Time is money, Mr. Mayor. I'll give you five minutes to convince me that conversing with you won't waste either."

He'd slipped so effortlessly into his role as the richest duck in the world, imperiously looking down on the mayor of the rotten little town at the foot of the mountain despite the mayor being taller. Given how easily he'd organized and commanded his employees, it probably wasn't too hard to imagine him commanding armies.

It was startling to see the switch so suddenly, and the Spells were struggling not to swoon. It was actually quite thrilling him to see him eviscerate someone in a few sentences. Maybe they would stick around to see what else he could do, and then excuse themselves for a long cold shower (now that they could have long showers!)

The mayor did his best to no longer look at the twins, nervously wringing his hands. "W-well! There's no need for any... uncivility between us. You've made it quite clear you and yours intend to stay here for some time... Surely there's no need to spend it all in one place? Can't you see things from our point of view? When tourists and such come, and they wonder why we were abandoned, and instead all the spoils went to...?" He made a vague gesture directly at, while still not looking at, the Spells.

Magica snorted with contempt, and Poe shook his head at the audacity.

If the De Spells enjoyed that, this was going to be fun.

"Of course," Scrooge purred, his tone icy poison. "My legal team has been putting together a formal explanation for why your proposal was rejected, but I'd be more than happy to give you a preview.

"You see, Mr. Mayor, the reason is quite simple." His face twisted into one of disapproval. "I detest you. And the reason why is equally simple. You see, I made my money by being tougher than the toughies, smarter than the smarties, and sharper than the sharpies. But the most important part is that I made it all square. That means, Mr. Mayor, that there are lines that I won't cross. The name 'McDuck' is meant to be one of integrity, not just wealth. When I was solving your little noonwraith problem, what I saw was a town who would do anything to save their own skins while squeezing every last penny out of people even if it meant damning their own neighbors to oblivion! And that, good sir, isn't even all of it!"

It's a good thing neither man was really paying attention to the twins, considering how they were reacting - clenched fists, bitten lips, trying their hardest to stay in one place and not drag Scrooge inside to "thank" his brains out.

As for the mayor, he just stood there in confusion. What did money have to do with morals? And surely these... magics had no morals in them! How could they? It was in their blood! ... Then again, maybe "their blood" could get him out of this situation. He swallowed thickly, trying to choose his next words carefully. "Maybe we can work something out? I can do something... I can give something as a sign of good faith. There's a family heirloom that we've held onto for ages that I think would mean a great deal, and I'd be happy to hand it over if you'd negotiate with us again."

Somehow Scrooge doubted that.

Still..."You have three minutes and thirty seconds left. Make them count."

The mayor cleared his throat. "The heirloom, in question, it, ah... we kept it as a way to ward off the supernatural, and surely that would be of value to a man who wards off such evils. And the... Mister and Missus Spell might have... I mean, that is to say... when that... tragic incident occurred, there were some..."

"Out with it, peon." Poe rolled his hand, growing bored with all the stammering and stuttering.

The mayor did another hard, thick swallow. Maybe the Spells didn't give a damn about their family, since they were such black-hearted witches and warlocks. So. So maybe this would be fine. No one would be angry.

"Well?" Magica snorted. "What is it you have that you think we could possibly want?"

"Bones." The mayor suddenly blurted out.

It took three full seconds for the twins to understand why the mayor would think the Spells would care about that.

In the next second, several windows suddenly shattered - and, sadly, that lovely raven-decorated glass now had a nasty split in it - and a hard crack appeared in the stone steps underneath the mayor's feet, reeling for miles. The twins were no longer giddy little hormone fueled spectators, but their actual selves that the village had always been terrified of. Poe, always the more sensible of the twins, managed to barely hold back his magic, but Magica was already surrounded in shadows, eyes yellowed and pupils slit - only the sheer shock of those words preventing the mayor from joining their parents in death. She trembled with unbridled fury, her voice now dark and deep and close to Hades itself.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY."

Scrooge threw up a hand towards Magica, a silent order for her to be silent.

"Am I to understand, Mr. Mayor, that you are in possession of the only known remains of their parents?"

Scrooge's own rage was glacier cold.

"And you're looking to use them as a bargaining chip with me? Am I hearing you correctly, sir?"

Oh, Magica was done taking orders...

The mayor had least had enough sense to know he dug his own grave (but not enough to stop digging), and began backing up rapidly - it was Scrooge's job to stop the nasty darkness that roamed the earth, wasn't he going to do more to stop what was right behind him?! "Sir, sir, sir, if you could, just, see things from our point of view! H-How could we give them back, when, LOOK at them, they would have slaughtered us!"

"WHAT AN EXCELLENT IDEA." There went another two windows, with the grass decaying rapidly as Magica walked forward. "IF YOU WANT US TO BE MONSTERS SO BADLY, WHY SHOULDN'T WE GRANT YOUR WISH?"

Poe tried to grab Magica by the arms, his anger only pushed aside by his worry. "Magica! Magica, you have to stop, STOP RIGHT NOW!" He had little doubt she could wipe away the entire village without breaking a sweat - but that wasn't going to make things any better.

"Honestly, I'm tempted to let them!" Scrooge snapped.

He then turned to Magica. "Lass, rein it in. I know a brilliant way to make them suffer, one that will hurt for generations, but it won't work if you flatten the whole place."

His beak curled into a cruel smile. Making things square didn't mean playing nice.

Scrooge had saved the man's life by literal seconds - the mayor had fallen onto his backside and sat up to find Magica's clawed hand in front of his face, mere inches from his nose but still powerful enough to cause his own glasses to melt.

Still. Her currently yellow eyes slid over to Scrooge, listening but not making any promises. "SPEAK. NOW. QUICKLY."

Poe still had a grip on Magica's other arm, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold her back. While Poe was definitely the smarter of the two, there was no doubt was the one with more power.

Scrooge leaned over the mayor.

"Here is a new deal for you: You're going to give those bones back, free and clear. Because in case you've forgotten, Mr. Mayor, Italy has laws regarding the proper treatment of remains. You might or might not be the one who killed the De Spells, but you're still in violation of that law. Refuse, and I'll drag your fat arse down this mountain all the way to the next town over to deliver you to the authorities. And if you think you can claim those bones are anything but the De Spells, I assure you that McDuck Laboratories would be more than happy to expedite the paternity tests needed to prove they are who you claimed them to be."

He paused for a moment, letting that sink in.

"Once you hand over the bones, you, my accountants, and I are going to go down to the city records. And we're going to audit every single transaction this town has made going back at least thirty years to see where the taxes and everything else has been going."

His smile turned downright vicious.

"And I'm willing to bet old Number One that my company isn't the first one you approached for development projects. Only they didn't get your measure first. I wonder what happened to all that money, don't you?"

He then glanced at the De Spells before sneering at the man.

"Finally, we're going to go over the deeds to the land your little town sits on. Depending on who it actually belongs to, I might just invest in your town to let the owners earn back what you and your ilk stole from them. And if you think it's not possible to own an entire town, let me remind you, sir, that I own Duckburg. Your little town wouldn't be nearly as lucrative, I admit, but rent stacks up very quickly."

He leaned over the man, forehead pressed to forehead.

"Now then, Mr. Mayor, do you accept my terms or do I need to start walking?"

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