happilyeverbeginning | THE RESCUE ME MEME

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THE RESCUE ME MEME

WELCOME TO THE RESCUE ME MEME

Mugged, kidnapping, held hostage, imprisoned, arranged marriage – one way or another, your character needs a rescue pronto! This meme is about exploring all the different ways of rescuing, so mix and match your favorite tropes! Drop your character, your preferences, and whether you’d like them to be rescued, the rescuer, or both! This also doesn’t have to be shippy – save a friend, a family member, an enemy, or a complete stranger, because everyone could use a hero!

Original Flavor
Your standard save! Burst onto the scene! Take down the bad guys! Save the victim! It doesn’t have to be needlessly complicated to be fun!

Disguise The Limit
Work smarter, not harder. Instead of a big fancy entrance, disguise yourself as one of the guards or the big baddy themselves to sneak past and save the day. Hope you’re good at acting!

Teamwork = Dreamwork
This is about partnering up to save the day! Two heads, or more, are better than one – are you reluctant enemies working for the same cause, or do you all care about each other just that much?

Making Mistakes
You thought they were in danger, but… oops. A light misunderstanding, “it’s not what it looks like”, or your victim was the enemy all along! Better have a back-up plan, in case you make more trouble than you planned to solve!

Last Second Switch
You’re one of the baddies who was in on this from the start, but now you’re having second thoughts. Is the plan going too far, or did you wind up caring for the victim? It’s up to you to stop this at the last possible moment – or take advantage of your power and help the victim escape in a sneakier way.

Saving Screw-Up
You were trying to be the big hero… and instead you wound up in the same trouble as the victim. Now you’re sharing a jail cell, or tied up next to them, maybe they’ll even switch victims since you’re a better target! A for effort, at least?

Accidentally Awesome
You were just going about your business and suddenly stumbled into a crime! Sure, you could just walk on, but you’re not that type of person! Even though you don’t know anything about the situation, step in and show them your stuff! Your ordinary day just got a whole lot weirder!

It’s Up To Me
This is taking way too long – save yourself! Kick some ass, take some names, and then… run into the person or people who were trying to save you. Maybe you’ll be the one saving them instead!

Rescue Sex
Don’t you worry, dirty birdies, I got you. Nothing quite says “hot” like watching someone get extremely feral in trying to save you. Hey, if you don’t even make it home before the clothes come off, we don’t blame you.

Here are a few other small tropes to work with, and there’s even more here if you want more spice!

Seduce the guard/baddy into letting you go or grabbing the keys!
Minions saving baddy from heroes!
You’re saving a beloved pet, or a precious artifact!

Say it with me now… I NEED A HERO!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Inside, the pews are packed with packed with every kind of monster, from Arachnids to Zashiki-warashi! ... That's Japanese. Look not a lot of monsters begin with Z -

Up towards the center on a raised platform stands the bride and groom. The groom, no doubt Lord Vlad the Bad, is tall, dark, and extremely annoyed at the constant CLANG! happening at his side every couple of seconds. Even the organ player is starting to trail off for the constant interruption.

That interruption would be the would-be bride - Morgana herself, now decked to the nines in an (admittedly amazing) wedding dress... while trapped in a less admittedly amazing gigantic golden bird cage! The constant CLANGing noises would be her loudly kicking at it, in a desperate attempt to break free. It's clearly to no avail, and she already looks exhausted.

Vlad waves to his throat, signaling the organ player to cut the music, as he storms over to the cage - looks like the key-ring to the thing is on his belt!. "My dear, would it kill you to be civil? You're making as much noise as that blasted rock-and-roll you used to harp on about." ]

I'D KILL YOU IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY DEAD! LET ME OUT OF HERE! Oooh, just you wait until Darkwing Duck shows up! You'll be something black and blue all over!

[ Vlad scoffs, taking out a small ring box. "You'll forget about him soon enough, my dear... I'll make sure of that." Ominous! "Besides, you're from two different worlds! It never would have worked out! You're a born and bred villain - you always have been, and you always will be. This is where you belong!" ]

I belong with HIM! And nothing you do will ever change that! He believes in me... and I believe he'll come for me!

[Wow, those are a lot of monsters! Enough for a lifetime of nightmares! But Darkwing Duck doesn't focus on them. His eyes immediately narrow in on Morgana! And his expression veers between two extremes every few moments: righteous anger at her being trapped in a cage, and a dazed smile at seeing her in that dress!

In any case, he can't stay still for long. Not when he hears that argument. And Morgana's words that fuel his heart! This is it. It's time... for the rescue of the century! He needs to put on a spectacle even bigger than this wedding...

So he goes full stealth and works his way towards the organ. And thr moment the player is looking elsewhere, he swaps out the sheet music! Luckily he carries sheet music for some of his favorite songs on him at all times in case he ends up in situations like this! Now to go back to hiding and wait... The next part is up to Morgana!]

[ Vlad grumbles at her childish outburst, taking the ring out of the box - instead of a shiny diamond on a gold band, it's a blood-red ruby on black steel! Definitely ominous! "Let's try this again... just ignore her, she'll wear herself out. My little songbird's cage was specifically designed to drain all her magic! And this beauty will make her a real SAHM... Stay At Home Monster!" He waves his hand, giving permission for the bored organ player to resume the music.

After a yawn, the music begins again... though many attendees begin tilting their heads. This didn't quite sound like the traditional wedding march, now did it?

Morgana, for her part, is just as surprised - but doubts this is a coincidence! Her magic may be drained, but her voice is as powerful as ever! She clears her throat. ]

Where have all the good men gone,
And where are all the gods?
Where's the streetwise Storkules,
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night, I toss and I turn...
And I dream of what I need!

[ Vlad whips his head around, startled! "What the - knock that off! Don't you dare!" ]

I NEED A HERO!

[That's the worst ring he's ever seen! Even a Darkwing Duck decoder ring would look better!

But then, the music starts. The stage is set! And with her singing that jam, Darkwing Duck feels like he can take on an army of monsters! ...But he'd really rather avoid that.

Timed to go off just as she says "I NEED A HERO!", Darkwing unleashes smoke bomb on the stage! In the cloud of smoke, he tries to dropkick Vlad, then bounce off of him to the cage, where he'll try to work on freeing her!]

[ Fortunately, the audience in attendance don't feel like getting up to fight - some of them are wondering if this show is somehow part of the ceremony. It's certainly a plus from what was a pretty dull wedding!

Vlad doesn't even get out a menacing "WHO DARES-" before he gets kicked and falls off the platform. Oof. He grows, trying to get up, and grabbing a weapon from the nearest monster around - the mummy hmphs, that khopesh was supposed to be a gift! - before climbing back on stage. "You dare try to steal my wife AND my show?!"

Morgana gleefully clings to the bars, trying not to swoon too hard from that amazing entrance. ]

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night!

[ But she glances up, seeing Vlad coming in swinging, and hopes Darkwing can guess what trouble's brewing from the lyrics! ]

He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast,
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight!

[This already feels like one of the best moments of his life! While he triea fiddling with the lock, he does glance through the bars and briefly locks eyes with Morgana, his heart swelling in that moment!

But no, he has to stay focused in the moment. Especially with her lyrics acting as a warning! He narrowly leaps from the cage just in time to dodge Vlad's attack, hoping the blade does some damage to the bars, before he stomps down on Vlad's head like a video game character. He bounces from that to a landing on the stage, facing Vlad while assuming a fighting stance.]

She's not your wife! And... To be honest? [He takes a moment to look Vlad over and shakes his head while wavering a hand in the air.] Vlad, honey, you never really had much of a show either!

[ After sighing in relief, Morgana tries to fiddle with the now damaged lock with her claw-like fingernails. There is a key on Vlad's waist, but he's probably got it tied up tight! ]

I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light!
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon,
And he's gotta be larger than life,
Larger than life!

[ En garde! Vlad keeps trying to slice and dice, his anger only growing by the second - which makes him deadlier in strength but also less accurate with his aim!

"I will not be upstaged by some mere mortal in a colorful costume! She was promised to me since childhood! The mortal world has only rejected her time and time again - you'll never last!" ]

[Darkwing Duck continues his fight! He does his best to dive and dodge the next strikes, while also trying to match the music as much as he can-!]

That's not true! We've got something special, I just know it. And that's rich, considering all of you rejected her... You rejected who she really is! Back in the so-called 'mortal' world, she really has a chance out there- OW!

[One slash manages to cut across his coat and wounds him slightly. But Darkwing remains on his feet and quickly gets back to evading while looking for an opening!]

[ To back up Darkwing's words, she 'explains' just why she's been longing for him and him alone! ]

Somewhere after midnight,
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere, just beyond my reach,
There's someone reaching back for me!
Racing on the thunder,
And rising with the heat,
It's gonna take a Darkwing Duck to sweep me off my feet!

[ But she - and the audience - take a mighty good gasp at the wounded warrior! This could go from PG to PG13 real fast! Vlad pauses in his attack to let out a generic Evil Laugh!

"Injured already? Look at you! You're just a mere mortal in an oversized hat! You have no magic, no gadgets, not even a super-suit like Gizmoduck! How can you possibly save her when you can't even save yourself!" ]

[He reaches a hand over his chest, covering the wound for the moment while glaring at Vlad. At least her song continues to give him strength! That's one magic that Vlad can't stifle.]

You're hearing the reason right now! If you'd just listen to your beleaguered bride, you'd know! You'd know exactly why I'm doing this... and why I'm not giving up. It's because-

[In sync with her singing, he springs forward to try to tackle at Vlad!]

She needs a hero!!

[ The weapon falls out of his hands, so now it's Man Versus Monster in a mash of muscles! Their bodies are wriggling just enough that the keyring begins falling off Vlad's extremely tacky tuxedo! ]

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night!
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast,
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight!
I need a hero!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light!
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon,
And he's gotta be larger than life!

[ Where have Eek and Squeak been all this time? Slowly trying to drag Morgana's guitar to the church! It's taking forever, but they're doing their best.

Vlad snarls, struggling to push back! "You may be a hero, but she's a villain! She'll always be one! It's just a matter of time before she goes back to her old ways! Do you seriously think you're enough to change that?!" ]

[The struggle carries on! Darkwing is weary, especially with his wound, but he carries on! Using every trick at his disposal, swishing his cape around to throw Vlad off, and and getting in every hit he can while trying to be a hero worthy of such a cool song! But he's particularly eyeing that keyring as he continues his assault.]

No, I don't! What I do think is that I'm enough for my half of the equation. And the other part that equation, that I'm counting on? That will win the day for us?

[He ducks down and aims a kick to knock the keyring right towards Morgana.]

That would be Morgana's own good heart!

[ "No!"

Morgana drops to her knees, grateful! She reaches out, pressing herself up to the bars as much as she can... the keys are so close... just a few more inches...

Vlad backs up, finding the dropped weapon, struggling to believe his plan is about to dismantle right in front of him. "A good heart..." He sneers... but then his eyes widen, and when he grins, it's not a good sign. "Yes, you may be right. She has a good heart, despite it all... And because she has a good heart..." He grabs a fistful of Darkwing's cape, and yanks him forward, bringing the blade dangerously close to Darkwing's neck!

"She'd rather marry me than see you die before her very eyes!"

Which, alas, works just as expected, and Morgana freezes in place, the song trailing off into an instrumental flow. ]

Darkwing! No, stop! Stop, stop, STOP EVERYTHING! I'll do whatever you want - just don't hurt him!

Eeek!

[Darkwing gives a surprised squeal as he's manhandled by Vlad! He tries to squirm, but to little avail!]

Morgana, no! Don't listen to this gothic goomba! I'll be fine. Just- just focus on the song, it was going really well!

How can I focus when you're already so hurt?! This is all because of me!

[ Vlad sneers, and then drop-kicks the ringbox so it lands right next to the keys. "The choice is yours, my little songbird! Take the key, and you can go free, while your caped crusader croaks! Or you can put on the ring, which will have you forget he ever existed, and he can go return to the mortal realm self and sound. What will it be?"

The audience goes "Ooooh..."

That's hardly a choice at all, as far as Morgana's concerned! She swallows thickly, desperately trying to think of some way to have both her freedom and keep her beloved safe. ]

... Can I at least... give him one last kiss? To say goodbye?

[ Audience goes "Awwww."

Vlad rolls his eyes, but obliges, shoving Darkwing towards the cage. "Make it quick. And don't try anything funny." ]

[Oof. Morgana's surrender manages to hurt even more than her not singing! Darkwing shuffles forward uncertainly, with no way to escape. Is this really how it's supposed to end.

As he approaches her, he looks at her, his eyes pleading for her not to take this choice.]

Mor... Morgana....

[This can't be it. It can't be how it ends! But he stands there by the cage, waiting for her to accept her choice.]

Dark darling...

[ She stays on her knees to be somewhat-eye level with him... and to hide her wink. She suddenly grabs Darkwing by his cape laurels for a pretty powerful pucker-up, while silently revealing she has one last trick up her sleeve - as Archie crawls out from it, and right up Darkwing's arm. She trusts Darkwing enough to know what to do with her beloved baby!

Vlad doesn't see any of it, tapping his foot impatiently. Boy, this is one long kiss. Are they coming up for air anytime soon?!]

[It takes him a moment to realize that's Archie on his sleeve, and not just his feathers standing on end from the force of that kiss! It might be the kiss to end all kisses, but he want to make sure that nothing gets ended.

He'll let the kiss linger for... as long as it needs to! Yeah, make it real convincing, maybe a little longer... okay maybe they should stop now before he forgets everything that isn't this kiss entirely.]

Well, it's been nice knowing you. [He winks, putting his acting skills to use.] Goodbye forever...!

[He says before he turns away, ready to put a spider to use...]

[ Morgana covers her face with her hands, making sniffling sounds - but really to cover the fact she's grinning from what a great kiss that was. Granted, all their kisses are fantastic. ]

Boo hoo, boo hoo... goodbye, my sweetest, most wonderful, most handsome, most courageous, most skilled, most -

"ALRIGHT ALREADY." Vlad growls, and waves his weapon-wielding hand dismissively, trying to urge Darkwing to leave - he won't even bother looking in this man's direction, he's so unworthy! Leaving himself very wide open in the process.

"You're free to go, so, off with you. Go back to your world and... do whatever it is you do." ]

Most most. Yes, I understand. [He says that as solemnly as he can, as he turns to face Vlad.]

Whatever it is I do? Why, Vladdy boy... I already am doing it. With the help of a little friend!

[He says that as he deploys Archie to bite the hand covering that weapon! Ready to turn the tables on him immediately!]

[ CHOMP! Vlad yelps, flailing his hand wildly and kind of losing whatever intimidating Bad Guy aura he had. "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Archie holds on, using his spider-string to grab the weapon and toss it right into Darkwing's hand!

Morgana drops her own act, grabbing the keys and jamming it right into the lock! ]

HIT IT!

[ The music swells back up triumphantly, as each bar of the cage now falls down! ]

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above!
Out where the lightning splits the sea!
I could swear there is someone, somewhere watching me!
Through the wind and the chill and the rain,
And the storm and the flood...

[The weapon is in Darkwing's hands! And his response is to... throw it right through a stained glass window, where it will most likely get stuck in a certain skeleton! He's not going to use the threat of that weapon to win this fight. He'll use his own moxy!]

Now let's get dangerous!

[And so, moving swiftly to match the music, he rushes forward to deliver a barrage of random punches, kicks and whatever comes to mind, trying to overwhelm him with his pure manic energy.]

[ Outside, the Skeleon had finally reassembled himself! "There! Now I can go back in, stop Darkwing, and not get fired! Nothing can stop me now!"

Except a well-timed knock from that kopesh that breaks him down all over again. "...Aw, phooey."

Vlad is getting the stuffing pummeled out of him, out of sheer surprise! He's trying to fight back, mano e mano, but he's being outmatched! How can this little mortal still be so full of energy?! "Why... won't... you... stay... DOWN!"

Morgana holds out her hand, just in time for Eek and Squeak to arrive with her guitar - she catches it without even looking up, and begins rapidly strumming with her singing! ]

I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood!

[ Like a fire in my blood
Like a fire in my blood
Like a fire in my blood
Like a fire in my - BLOOOOOD~!

Where did that choir come from? Who even knows. ]

Let's finish this, Dark Darling!

I NEED A HERO!
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light!
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon!
And he's gotta be larger than life!

[The guitar is literal music to his ears! Darkwing spares just a moment to look back at her in all her glory with a delighted grin. But mostly he keeps up with the pummeling. It's almost like the music is boosting his strength!]

I'm all ready, Morgana M'dear!

[He keeps the beatdown going in tune with the song! And then he winds up his fist.]

Now, you vile vamp, there's only more thing I want to day to you: I object!

[He says as he unleashes a sick right to Vlad's kisser!]

I NEED A HEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOOOOO~!

[ That last triumphant note hits right in time with Darkwing's biggest punch - and down goes Vlad for the count. It even knocked out his front two fangs! He lays down in an embarrassing lump, cartoony stars swirling around his head.

The audience bursts into applause! A confused applause, but applause none the less!

"Wasn't this supposed to be a wedding...?"
"Maybe it was performance art all along!"
"At least the food's still free!"

Morgana slips her guitar around to her back, gives Eek and Squeak some scritches for doing excellent work... and then swoops Darkwing up into her arms, kissing his face all over. ]

Oh, Darkwing! You were wonderful! Magnificent! Stupendous! Awe-inspiring! I could fall for you all over again!

THE RESCUE ME MEME

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