happilyeverbeginning | Flowers

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Flowers - Olivia & Henry

Olivia hadn't been with the Shepherds as long as some of the other members, but even she knew theirs was unique army with odd individuals. But she loved each and every one of them dearly, and as a result she risked life and limb in battle to protect them. One she'd come to love a little more dearly than the others was Henry - which is why she wanted to help him. She was convinced his eternally smiling face was a mask, and as a result she wanted to help him reach his real emotions - even, perhaps, help him be normal.

Today's "lesson", as she deemed it, was the proper way to express gratitude. Peaceful days were getting rarer in Ylisse, so she was pleased to find quiet time to stray from the camp and find exactly what she was looking for. As far as Olivia knew, mages like Henry needed plants in some of their works - but when she tried asking Miriel what exactly they would need, she had gone into one of those long explanations that completely went over the dancer's head. She'd just have to settle for "it looks pretty, maybe it'll be useful."

Dinner would be in another hour or so, so she made sure not to spend too long before returning to base. To be fair, she didn't know the names of the flowers that were now bundled in her arm - some were white, others were yellow, they all smelled sweetly. But she tried to be optimistic as she approached Henry's tent, hoping she wasn't interrupting him doing any creepy magic. Which, she noted, was an odd thing to hope for if she was trying to give him ingredients for creepy magic. Maybe he would just use them for decoration? Oh boy.

Olivia cleared her throat, not wanting to barge in rudely. "Um, Henry? Are you in there? I, ah, have something for you... if you'd like."

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Henry wasn't always sure what to think about Olivia. She was so sweet and kind sometimes that Henry felt an yearning pain in their chest. Other times she was so insistent that Henry could follow her forever. She could be exasperating in trying to get Henry to express "real" emotions, but they felt the warm fuzzies over her caring enough to try. So weird!

An hour before dinner and Henry was working on their "creepy" magic, but one of the many mundane parts: bundling plants to dry. Earlier they had wandered around the woods digging for roots and after all the washing all Henry had to do was tie them together to hang. So really, nothing that Olivia couldn't interrupt.

"Hi Olivia! Come in!"

Olivia braced herself as she pushed herself into the tent - but sighed deeply in relief when she didn't see any blood or dissembled Risen parts. As a result her confidence was raised by a point or two, though she didn't lift her head. Her eyes stayed glued down, shyly toeing the ground.

"I hope I'm not bothering you, but, um... I know that the mages need plants sometimes! ... Right? I think?" This was going well. "Th-that is! I saw these, and I thought of you, s-so I want you to have them... if... you want them."

Oh no, all the meaty bits were nice and tucked away! No sense getting blood on plants prematurely, the stains were so hard to clean. Not that Olivia needed to know that.

The flowers, on the other hand, were a surprise. Not just the variety but that Olivia gathered them especially for Henry.

"Wow! Thank you, Olivia, these are really nice!"

Immediately they took the flowers out of Olivia's hands, taking one bloom and sipping the nectar from it before munching on the petals.

"I haven't had honeysuckle in ages! They're delicious!"

"...Delicious?" She replied slowly, surprised yet again. To be fair, with Henry you never knew what to expect, so was it okay to not be surprised she was surprised? ... Too confusing. Olivia shook her head, trying to focus on the positives.

"I didn't know you could eat them. Are they really that good?" A smile unknowingly spread across her face. To think she'd brought him a tasty treat he'd been longing for... This must be what luck was made of.

"Yep! There's nectar in the flower that's really tasty."

They hold up a flower to show her, peeling back the petals until Olivia can see for herself.

"The petals aren't bad either, and it makes a nice tea. Then there's the magical application, but I don't want to bore you with the details."

Honeysuckles flowers had a pretty straightforward application, usually used in hexes for moods or intended for children, since they could 'sweeten' a hex to make it more bearable. Really, any curse that used honey could take the flower as a substitute.

"Actually there was a huge bush in the magic gardens at school, and everyone was always trying to sneak a taste. Of course anyone who got caught was punished, nyahaha! So I asked some bugs - butterflies usually - to sip some of the nectar for me to taste."

"Oh..." That horrible school, and his horrible parents. Whenever Henry spoke of them, sadness welled up in her chest - along with a bit of frustration that Henry himself wasn't sad. Maybe if he got past the inner trauma, he could express himself more clearly. Or at least have another expression besides 'smile.'

"Um... You know, Henry..." She swallowed hard before daring himself to look at his eyes. Or his squints. "You can talk to me about anything. If you ever want to talk about something sad, or painful, or anything at all, I'm always here to listen. And I won't run away." Even if it got scary! "I'll always be here for you... Okay?"

"Muh?"

Wow, where was this coming from? More smiling lessons? Sure most people made the funniest faces when Henry spilled their guts (metaphorically), but this felt a bit different. Henry tilted their head, considering her words. She wanted to hear more, even if it was nasty? Usually Henry didn't go into the gory details with her, since she was shocked easily.

"Hm, you know, a lot of people think you're delicate, but you're really very strong! You're never shy around me!"

Deflection? Admiration? Yes.

How did Henry turn this around and make it about her? What a tough opponent! Olivia felt her cheeks flush.

"Huh? I'm not?" Come to think of it, with most men of the Shepherds, she kept her distance. But with Henry she'd been comfortable, even physically, getting closer and closer. "... Wait, what am I thinking? Of course I'm not shy around you. We're friends!" He nearly evaded a "normal lesson"! She latched onto the opportunity, trying to ignore her pounding heart. "When you're with friends, you're supposed to feel comfortable. Because friends love you no matter what."

She meant to say like.

when shock and awe doesn't work, a sneakier approach can do wonders! Just like when Olivia had a death curse outside of battle compared to a Flux during fighting.

"Yeah, that's true, but everyone says you're shy and quiet but when we first met you were yelling at me, nyahahaha! And even after you've always been so lively. So, I think you're strong because you don't let your shyness keep you from doing what's right."

Somehow has to be anyway. Henry knew very well that they weren't a great person, and the world would be really bad if everyone thought as they did.

Still. Hearing Olivia call Henry a loved friend soften the cockles of their heart. The organ could just pop right out of their chest with how much it was beating!

Olivia opened her mouth to argue against him, but Henry did have several good points. She had never let her shyness get in the way when it was truly important, such as when she thought that puppy was in danger, or in the heat of battle. When had he come to understand her in ways she didn't?

"... W-wow... I'm starting to think you know me better than I know myself." Yet she didn't mind this, and even wound up smiling. "I usually don't have any confidence in myself at all, but when you say things like that, I feel like I could do anything."

After a moment, she reached out to touch one of the soft petals. "Henry...You used to scare me, but now it's like I'm happiest whenever I'm around you. I wonder why that is."

"I guess this is what's called an outsider's perspective!"

Then Olivia really dropped an emotional bomb with her last words. Henry felt their face heat up as their heart swelled with emotion. Just having someone say that not only did Henry make them happy, but the happiest? Henry felt like all their blood vessels would pop. They just didn't know what to do with such intense positive feelings when it came to a human; Henry couldn't just hold Olivia, could they? Or rub faces or lick or do anything that animals did when being affectionate.

With the overwhelming joy, however, also came doubt and fear. Henry was scary, but not just because of their hobbies. They knew how weird they were, how much of a burden to everyone around them, and frankly, Henry didn't get what Olivia saw in them. Henry was just the cheerful guy who liked death and guts, right? Did she really like their jokes?

But no, maybe it was like with the dog. Yes, that made sense, Olivia saw Henry as someone who was suffering and wanted to help out. Pity could explain why someone as nice and good as Olivia would want to help a traitorous Plegian, but would that be good enough? They didn't want to be a burden.

Henry didn't know how to sort their feelings, let alone examine them, instead just making a show of thinking up a solution to Olivia's question.

"Happiest? Woah! Are all your friends that bad? Nyahaha!"

Emotions were hard but jokes were easy. Henry didn't want to have to worry about anything difficult if they didn't have to.

Dang it, Henry, don't ruin the moment!

"What?! No, that's not what I meant at all! Everyone in the Shepherds is wonderful!" Olivia almost got mad at the sheer implication anyone in the army could be a bad friend. Why couldn't he take things seriously? Was everything a joke to him - even her feelings?

"Do you always have to try and make things funny?" She wasn't even sure she could get this upset before. "Would you really laugh at everything? Would you laugh if I left? If I died?"

Henry is S rank at ruining moments, and for a second everything went as usual, with Olivia being mad (funny-mad, not "they're going to hurt me"-mad), but then it became worse. Rather than frustrated Olivia was disappointed. Even worse was that Henry actually felt bad about it. Their smile was still in place but their expression was pained, brows drawn up and face tight.

"No! No, I'd..."

Now Henry felt like puking up their organs instead, when did the mood change so fast? This is what Henry hated about getting close to humans, how easily Henry could mess things up for others. Sure they'd tried being nice and quiet before, but then people hated Henry when surprised with their darker thoughts. Now when Henry was trying to be honest, that wasn't right either! Why was this so hard?

"If you died I'd kill everyone who hurt you." Henry wants to embellish it like usual but somehow they can't muster up any enthusiasm for bloodshed. "But if you wanted to leave that's okay. I'm not that selfish, haha..."

Yet him being unable to embellish was actually working in his favor. His mood was finally, at least visibly, changing! There was a different tone in his voice! It was sad that it took a 'fight' to bring it out, but it was for the best.

"No... No, you're not selfish at all." Olivia sighed deeply, trying to compose herself. "You just don't understand things like other people do. It doesn't make you a bad person." Then, a soft smile. "I'm sorry if what I said hurt you. I won't leave you. I promise."

She even held out a pinky finger to make it stick.

Ahh, feelings were a real pain! Literally, because Olivia was saying just about the same thing Mustafa would tell them. And apologizing? She's been nothing but nice to them, and only yelled if Henry deserved it. She really was strange.

Speaking of, Henry had no idea what the finger thing was about. They looked at it, then at her, then back again. Maybe if it was the pointer Henry could guess it was a bloodletting or something but. A mystery!

With a shrug, Henry held out their own pinky.

"I'm not really a good person but if you know that... Well, like I said, you're strong!"

If Henry was a burden, then Olivia was choosing to carry them.

After a little giggle, Olivia linked her pink with his. "This is called a pinky promise. It's just a little way to show I'll never break it. And if I'm stronger, then maybe I'll be stronger than by being at your side."

It was possible. She did feel stronger, bit by bit, by his presence. Maybe her tolerance for his oddness was a part of it?

"Oooh, a pact!"

Henry knew about those! But as her finger curled around their, Henry felt uneasy again. They literally just said Olivia was strong, but, there was still a coiling fear. But. She is strong. Henry would be a liar if they didn't act on that trust. So they blurted out something that would be sure to drive her away.

"I lied. I did mean to kill the dog."

Even Henry's ever-present smile was faint.

"... Huh?"

Despite all that had been said and done, those two sentences were enough to completely halt Olivia's train of thought. For a good moment she had no idea what he meant. She blinked rapidly, trying to put it together - and then it clicks.

"... Wait, you mean back then? W-when you found that injured dog, and I thought you were...?"

"Yeah, um, well! I really wasn't planning on using him for a ritual so. I wasn't lying about that!"

Ugh, Henry should stop trying to defend themself, it's the truth, but Olivia's sad face is really hard to see. Whatever she said, Henry really is selfish, because they can't bear to let go of her finger even now.

"But... That dog didn't have a family, or anyplace safe like that. With a broken leg like that, with the bone out, it was bound to get infected eventually, and an animal can't find food when sick. So, it's better to just go to sleep than die slowly of infection or starvation."

"But-" Why didn't he just say so, she almost cries out, but wasn't it obvious? Because she wouldn't have listened, she would have insisted the dog still had a chance. No doubt he felt her hand trembling as she listened. Olivia shut her eyes as if that would prevent her from hearing any more.

"Why are you telling me this?" Her voice was weak and strained, head lowering as she saw their 'first' meeting in a new light. "I never would have known... I would have kept seeing you as that dog's savior. Why are you telling me this now...?"

Ah, here it is. She's realizing just how horrible a person Henry is, and before... well, Henry was already in too deep but maybe Olivia wouldn't be as hurt? A small part of Henry resents that this is an argument, since animals had to be put down all the time. But no, instead they deceived Olivia about their intentions because they didn't want to scare her off.

"You'd find out sooner or later, so better sooner, right? Otherwise I'd be deceiving you on the kind of person I am and you'd get hurt more."

That's what everyone said when Henry wasn't obvious about their views. That he was a liar and disgusting, that they'd never have been friends if they had known what Henry was like. That kinda thing hurt a person more with a good friend than with an acquaintence. And yet, Henry still couldn't bring themself to let go of her finger, cool and shaky as it was. So selfish!

"I mean, not all animals can be saved, you know? Just like how people have to die in a war. We can't bring every stray with us on the march."

For a long, agonizing time, nothing was said. Olivia had shut her eyes, and a few tears had begun to slide down her cheeks. A hint of a whimper escaped her throat... And then she proved she was capable of surprises too.

Without any warning, Olivia threw her arms around Henry, hugging him tight to her chest, burying her face into his shoulder. She was right, he had been hiding pain and sadness behind that ever-lasting smile. She just had no idea just how deep his pain was. How long had he been carrying these burdens alone?

"H-H-Henry..." She hiccuped, trying to pull her face back enough to speak. "You've been trying to protect me... And all your friends... From how harsh life could be! You'd rather we think the worst about you than about how awful everything else is... You shouldn't have to do that! You shouldn't have to be alone!"

Yep, yep, just what Henry expected. It hurt, a lot, but they were used to this. They survived before, they can again.

Then Olivia hugged them.

"Myuh?"

That. Was weird?? Henry didn't even know what to say. Why was she treating them so nicely? And. Everything she's saying is almost too much, bewildering and kind at the same time.

"Uh. Haha! Well." Henry never thought of it like that. "I just thought you'd be upset and hate me. But whether I get people to hate me early or later, I can't. Figure out which one works better."

Still. The fact that Olivia thought so highly of them felt really good, as did her hug. She was sturdy and warm in their arms, and Henry felt protected in her embrace.

Maybe the hug was lasting longer than it really needed to be, but if Henry wasn't complaining then Olivia wasn't going to break it. Maybe with any other man in the army this embrace would have lasted a few seconds, due to her overwhelming shyness. But this was a momentous occasion with a very special someone. Today was about exceptions and going past norms.

"I'll never, ever, ever hate you." Olivia declared right then and there. She looked him right in the eyes, wanting to make sure he knew she was being serious. "You can always be honest with me. I give you my word, I won't hate you." Sure, she might be scared of what comes out of that mouth, but fear and hatred weren't always connected. "You can trust me. I won't run away. You're my friend, Henry, forever and always."

If the hug was too long Henry didn't notice, just enjoying the warmth and pressure of her embrace. When was the last time someone held them so sweetly? Olivia gave really good hugs.

Then she pulled back, gazing right at them and making her declaration. Henry didn't know what to do, how to react. So few people actually gave such confidence, trusted Henry to be close. Henry couldn't meet her gaze for long, looking aside as they laughed nervously, since another blot made their feelings bittersweet.

"Oh... tha'ts. That's really nice, Olivia. You're so kind... But." Henry took a deep breath, then touched her face, looking deep into her eyes. "I'm kinda scared, since everyone who's loved me always dies."

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