happilyeverbeginning | Flowers

Entry tags:

Flowers - Olivia & Henry

Olivia hadn't been with the Shepherds as long as some of the other members, but even she knew theirs was unique army with odd individuals. But she loved each and every one of them dearly, and as a result she risked life and limb in battle to protect them. One she'd come to love a little more dearly than the others was Henry - which is why she wanted to help him. She was convinced his eternally smiling face was a mask, and as a result she wanted to help him reach his real emotions - even, perhaps, help him be normal.

Today's "lesson", as she deemed it, was the proper way to express gratitude. Peaceful days were getting rarer in Ylisse, so she was pleased to find quiet time to stray from the camp and find exactly what she was looking for. As far as Olivia knew, mages like Henry needed plants in some of their works - but when she tried asking Miriel what exactly they would need, she had gone into one of those long explanations that completely went over the dancer's head. She'd just have to settle for "it looks pretty, maybe it'll be useful."

Dinner would be in another hour or so, so she made sure not to spend too long before returning to base. To be fair, she didn't know the names of the flowers that were now bundled in her arm - some were white, others were yellow, they all smelled sweetly. But she tried to be optimistic as she approached Henry's tent, hoping she wasn't interrupting him doing any creepy magic. Which, she noted, was an odd thing to hope for if she was trying to give him ingredients for creepy magic. Maybe he would just use them for decoration? Oh boy.

Olivia cleared her throat, not wanting to barge in rudely. "Um, Henry? Are you in there? I, ah, have something for you... if you'd like."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Henry is S rank at ruining moments, and for a second everything went as usual, with Olivia being mad (funny-mad, not "they're going to hurt me"-mad), but then it became worse. Rather than frustrated Olivia was disappointed. Even worse was that Henry actually felt bad about it. Their smile was still in place but their expression was pained, brows drawn up and face tight.

"No! No, I'd..."

Now Henry felt like puking up their organs instead, when did the mood change so fast? This is what Henry hated about getting close to humans, how easily Henry could mess things up for others. Sure they'd tried being nice and quiet before, but then people hated Henry when surprised with their darker thoughts. Now when Henry was trying to be honest, that wasn't right either! Why was this so hard?

"If you died I'd kill everyone who hurt you." Henry wants to embellish it like usual but somehow they can't muster up any enthusiasm for bloodshed. "But if you wanted to leave that's okay. I'm not that selfish, haha..."

Yet him being unable to embellish was actually working in his favor. His mood was finally, at least visibly, changing! There was a different tone in his voice! It was sad that it took a 'fight' to bring it out, but it was for the best.

"No... No, you're not selfish at all." Olivia sighed deeply, trying to compose herself. "You just don't understand things like other people do. It doesn't make you a bad person." Then, a soft smile. "I'm sorry if what I said hurt you. I won't leave you. I promise."

She even held out a pinky finger to make it stick.

Ahh, feelings were a real pain! Literally, because Olivia was saying just about the same thing Mustafa would tell them. And apologizing? She's been nothing but nice to them, and only yelled if Henry deserved it. She really was strange.

Speaking of, Henry had no idea what the finger thing was about. They looked at it, then at her, then back again. Maybe if it was the pointer Henry could guess it was a bloodletting or something but. A mystery!

With a shrug, Henry held out their own pinky.

"I'm not really a good person but if you know that... Well, like I said, you're strong!"

If Henry was a burden, then Olivia was choosing to carry them.

After a little giggle, Olivia linked her pink with his. "This is called a pinky promise. It's just a little way to show I'll never break it. And if I'm stronger, then maybe I'll be stronger than by being at your side."

It was possible. She did feel stronger, bit by bit, by his presence. Maybe her tolerance for his oddness was a part of it?

"Oooh, a pact!"

Henry knew about those! But as her finger curled around their, Henry felt uneasy again. They literally just said Olivia was strong, but, there was still a coiling fear. But. She is strong. Henry would be a liar if they didn't act on that trust. So they blurted out something that would be sure to drive her away.

"I lied. I did mean to kill the dog."

Even Henry's ever-present smile was faint.

"... Huh?"

Despite all that had been said and done, those two sentences were enough to completely halt Olivia's train of thought. For a good moment she had no idea what he meant. She blinked rapidly, trying to put it together - and then it clicks.

"... Wait, you mean back then? W-when you found that injured dog, and I thought you were...?"

"Yeah, um, well! I really wasn't planning on using him for a ritual so. I wasn't lying about that!"

Ugh, Henry should stop trying to defend themself, it's the truth, but Olivia's sad face is really hard to see. Whatever she said, Henry really is selfish, because they can't bear to let go of her finger even now.

"But... That dog didn't have a family, or anyplace safe like that. With a broken leg like that, with the bone out, it was bound to get infected eventually, and an animal can't find food when sick. So, it's better to just go to sleep than die slowly of infection or starvation."

"But-" Why didn't he just say so, she almost cries out, but wasn't it obvious? Because she wouldn't have listened, she would have insisted the dog still had a chance. No doubt he felt her hand trembling as she listened. Olivia shut her eyes as if that would prevent her from hearing any more.

"Why are you telling me this?" Her voice was weak and strained, head lowering as she saw their 'first' meeting in a new light. "I never would have known... I would have kept seeing you as that dog's savior. Why are you telling me this now...?"

Ah, here it is. She's realizing just how horrible a person Henry is, and before... well, Henry was already in too deep but maybe Olivia wouldn't be as hurt? A small part of Henry resents that this is an argument, since animals had to be put down all the time. But no, instead they deceived Olivia about their intentions because they didn't want to scare her off.

"You'd find out sooner or later, so better sooner, right? Otherwise I'd be deceiving you on the kind of person I am and you'd get hurt more."

That's what everyone said when Henry wasn't obvious about their views. That he was a liar and disgusting, that they'd never have been friends if they had known what Henry was like. That kinda thing hurt a person more with a good friend than with an acquaintence. And yet, Henry still couldn't bring themself to let go of her finger, cool and shaky as it was. So selfish!

"I mean, not all animals can be saved, you know? Just like how people have to die in a war. We can't bring every stray with us on the march."

For a long, agonizing time, nothing was said. Olivia had shut her eyes, and a few tears had begun to slide down her cheeks. A hint of a whimper escaped her throat... And then she proved she was capable of surprises too.

Without any warning, Olivia threw her arms around Henry, hugging him tight to her chest, burying her face into his shoulder. She was right, he had been hiding pain and sadness behind that ever-lasting smile. She just had no idea just how deep his pain was. How long had he been carrying these burdens alone?

"H-H-Henry..." She hiccuped, trying to pull her face back enough to speak. "You've been trying to protect me... And all your friends... From how harsh life could be! You'd rather we think the worst about you than about how awful everything else is... You shouldn't have to do that! You shouldn't have to be alone!"

Yep, yep, just what Henry expected. It hurt, a lot, but they were used to this. They survived before, they can again.

Then Olivia hugged them.

"Myuh?"

That. Was weird?? Henry didn't even know what to say. Why was she treating them so nicely? And. Everything she's saying is almost too much, bewildering and kind at the same time.

"Uh. Haha! Well." Henry never thought of it like that. "I just thought you'd be upset and hate me. But whether I get people to hate me early or later, I can't. Figure out which one works better."

Still. The fact that Olivia thought so highly of them felt really good, as did her hug. She was sturdy and warm in their arms, and Henry felt protected in her embrace.

Maybe the hug was lasting longer than it really needed to be, but if Henry wasn't complaining then Olivia wasn't going to break it. Maybe with any other man in the army this embrace would have lasted a few seconds, due to her overwhelming shyness. But this was a momentous occasion with a very special someone. Today was about exceptions and going past norms.

"I'll never, ever, ever hate you." Olivia declared right then and there. She looked him right in the eyes, wanting to make sure he knew she was being serious. "You can always be honest with me. I give you my word, I won't hate you." Sure, she might be scared of what comes out of that mouth, but fear and hatred weren't always connected. "You can trust me. I won't run away. You're my friend, Henry, forever and always."

If the hug was too long Henry didn't notice, just enjoying the warmth and pressure of her embrace. When was the last time someone held them so sweetly? Olivia gave really good hugs.

Then she pulled back, gazing right at them and making her declaration. Henry didn't know what to do, how to react. So few people actually gave such confidence, trusted Henry to be close. Henry couldn't meet her gaze for long, looking aside as they laughed nervously, since another blot made their feelings bittersweet.

"Oh... tha'ts. That's really nice, Olivia. You're so kind... But." Henry took a deep breath, then touched her face, looking deep into her eyes. "I'm kinda scared, since everyone who's loved me always dies."

Olivia wanted to say that she wouldn't, but that was a lie. Everyone would die some day, and they were warriors in an army. They often faced death more than the average person. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to think of how to comfort him. At least he was expression various emotions!

"Henry...it's okay to be afraid. I've lost people I've cared about too. But... we shouldn't let that hold us back from loving people. If we chose to be alone and miserable, what would be the point of living?" She opened her eyes and smiled kindly. "Like my dancing. You know how nervous I get... sometimes all I want to do is run and hide so no one can see me. But it still makes me happy. Even if it makes me nervous and worried, I still want to dance every single day. If I let my fear hold me back, I wouldn't get to dance at all... and that'd make me really sad."

Edited 2017-01-10 01:01 (UTC)

Henry was glad Olivia was being honest, because everyone died some day. That wasn't really the problem.

"Oh... yeah, you're right, just. Don't die because of me, okay? I don't want to hurt you. Not again."

Olivia really was brave and good. Henry felt so luck to have her attention, to feel her eyes on them. So of course they wanted her to feel as safe and comfortable as possible.

Olivia reached up to touch Henry's hand on her face, holding it with both of her own. This hand that could be dipped in blood, that could control magic of unspeakable power, this hand was soft and gentle. It was capable of so many things, just like Henry. She cradled into his touch, as if it was a small pillow.

"I trust you, Henry. I'll always trust you. You're one of my best friends. If you'll out for me... I'll look out for you. We'll have each other's backs. That's what the Shepherds do for each other. "

Having Olivia not just accept their touch, but cradle into it... Henry could barely stand it, so bloated were their feelings.

"Yeah... Okay." how could she trust them? Did Henry deserve that trust? "Just... I'm scared of you becoming like Mama and Mustafa."

There, that's what Henry was worried about: the past repeating itself. But hey, even if it did, Henry still survived, right? So even if the worst happened, that shouldn't prevent them from enjoying today.

"Then I'll do all in my power to keep myself alive." Which sounded a little silly to say, since she was already doing that in every single battle. But maybe there was more she could do?

A smidgen distracted, she began to loosen her hold on Henry's hand. "Maybe I could have Lonqu train me with the sword... Even though he is pretty scary. Or borrow some of Kellam's armor! ... Even though it is really heavy. Or..."

Considering death came to all and it wasn't always within one's control, that's as good as Olivia could promise. Henry would just have to make the most of it, knowing how fragile a life could be.

"That's a good idea! Never hurts to know a few ways to kill people! I may look pretty soft, but I actually have some barbarian training, when I was a trainee in the army. The Plegian army I mean."

Oh yes, there was no doubt in her mind that Henry knew "barbarian training". He absolutely did not look soft. She chuckled nervously, reminded of his past, but she managed to keep a brave face on.

"W-well, I don't think I can learn any magic...but...maybe there are some things you could teach me as well? You are pretty smart, in your own way."

Oh right, most Shepherds got awkward about Henry being a Plegian and all. Meh, wasn't like Henry really cared about nations or anything. Seemed pretty arbitrary to them.

"Ohh, you think so? People have said I'm pretty thoughtless, nyahaha! Or was it carefree? Maybe that's the nice way of describing it."

Henry's tone is light again, but they look pleased at the compliment regardless.

"Hmmmm, maybe we should try and think of what your strengths are? Like I could help with riding if you wanted to be one of those mounted units, or I could show you how to use a sword or axe. Maybe Lon'qu couldn't help much, but I think you'd make a top rate myrmidon!"

"Oh! The sword! I... I do know how to use one, but I'm not very good at it." Which was a little unfair, seeing as she was comparing herself to people who had trained vigorously with the blade all their lives. "We could start from there."

She giggled delightfully, pleased at how this had all turned out. "I guess I'll be calling you Teacher Henry for a while. I'll do my best to be a good student."

"Nowhere to go but up! I think you'd be good because being a dancer, you're strong, flexible, adaptable, and have really good control over your body! Learning the forms should be a snap for you!"

Henry was feeling calmer too, still smiling but it was more relaxed now, just enjoying Olivia's company.

"Ohhh, Teacher! That makes me sound all formal and dignified!" Therefore, hilarious.

"I just wish there was something I could do for you in return." Olivia frowned a little, suddenly feeling as if Henry was the loser in this little trade off. What did he get in return for helping her?

"Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all? You just name it!"

"Don't worry, I like being useful! People tolerate me when I'm useful."

Mostly by fighting the enemy but even basic stuff like cleaning or heavy lifting. Actually, Henry picked up a lot of skills by trying to be helpful to others, like sewing and cooking and field medicine.

"Actually, do you know how to make sweets? Like baking? I can make bread and stuff, but I tried to make a molasses cake for Gaius and ended up totally burning it! I played it off as a prank but I wanna learn how to do it right."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject