Lien-Da (
justasevil_twin) wrote in
happilyeverbeginning2015-09-23 09:34 am
Entry tags:
Growing Closer - Lien-da & Elias
Back home, Lien-da only drank casually, and only when there was good news. She didn't enjoy the feeling of being drunk, as it was a state that left people weak and helpless. But now there was no 'back home', and she believed she would never know true happiness again.
So she was swallowing down her fourth glass, and not even bothering to taste what was entering her mouth. What she wouldn't give to forget everything. She couldn't even have the mercy of death in this wretched place. It was torturous.
She was unaware if anyone was coming near her, but didn't care about this either. She looked into her now empty glass, noticing how in the messy reflection one eye was blurred, and was reminded of her twin brother. He'd gotten killed before knowing his whole race - his whole world - was gone.
"You win again, brother." She muttered before demanding a refill.
So she was swallowing down her fourth glass, and not even bothering to taste what was entering her mouth. What she wouldn't give to forget everything. She couldn't even have the mercy of death in this wretched place. It was torturous.
She was unaware if anyone was coming near her, but didn't care about this either. She looked into her now empty glass, noticing how in the messy reflection one eye was blurred, and was reminded of her twin brother. He'd gotten killed before knowing his whole race - his whole world - was gone.
"You win again, brother." She muttered before demanding a refill.

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Yet, in the end, only one thought came to mind.
"And now? What does it all mean for you now? Now that none of it, none of your choices, ever happened? What does it mean now that you don't exist?"
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Flashes of memories came back to her.
I killed my own father - Luger carefully picking up his little girl, as if afraid she's break like porcelain.
I would have killed my brother - Kragok gently holding his twin sister's hand as they watched their mother's funeral.
I had my own people killed - Legionnaires who had risked their lives for her, who had faithfully served her, men women and children - children who had lost their families like her -
All of them dead, and what for?
"SHUT UP!" Without warning, she launched herself at time, intending to strangle him where he stood. "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Was she even aware of the tears running down her cheeks? "I AM NOT WORTHLESS! I AM NOT USELESS!"
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The kind touch wasn't delivered though. She was on him in seconds, too fast for him to react. She went toe-to-toe against Knuckles and other Freedom Fighters. She was faster than he was. Those hands wrapped around his neck and he gasped as she tried to strangle him. Elias's blue eyes widened as she screamed at him, crying as she tried to kill him. He gasped and reached for her hands, trying to pry them off.
"You...are...not worthless..." he gasps with what little air he had. Dammit, his knees felt weak. She was stronger than he thought.
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"Shut u, shut up, shut up..." She repeated it over and over, like an endless mantra that would summon peace into her skull. But her grief overwhelmed her, something she had not allowed since she was a child. The tears she tried to ignore became hard, choking sobs, and her grip on Elias' throat weakened. She closed her eyes, damning herself and damning Elias for doing this to her. "Just... stop talking..."
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Instead he wrapped his arms around her and tried to pull her into a hug. He rested his chin on her shoulder and just started to pet her. She didn't need anymore pain. She didn't even deserve more pain. She'd suffered enough.
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But, by Chaos, she was just so tired. She had no energy for hatefulness and spite and superiority. She felt as if she would never stop crying, laying down into a sorrowful heap on top of him. Let him do what he wanted. She didn't care. Why couldn't she be erased with everything else? She buried her face into his shoulder, her body shuddering.