Two Darkwing Duck Adventures for the Post of One!

[flapsin]

[For Morgana]

[Drake's quest to find answers about the missing Professor Waddlemeyer was full of dead ends. He had made no progress, and he felt bad about the effect that had on Gosalyn. She was still her normal chipper self most of the time, but he had learned to see the cracks in that. And he wanted to do everything he could to help her feel better until he could reunite her with her real family.

These days, it seems the thing she got most excited for was a band. To Drake's relief, it's not like other music of the youths which register just as noise for him. This actually sounds like the kind of thing he'd listen to in high school! And the singing is just great... but this is about Gosalyn! In a spot of bad timing, Gosalyn's fallen sick while the band's has come to St. Canard for a concert. And so Drake's claimed to be out for a night of quiet patrolling while Launchpad tends to the sick kid, but in actuality he's doing something as Drake Mallard. If she can't attend the concert, maybe he can at least get an autograph for her or something. Maybe that will raise her spirits!

And so, Drake Mallard sneaks around backstage at the concert, for any sign of mysterious melodist...]

[For Della]

[It was a long night of fighting crime in Avalon for one Darkwing Duck. Some sort of magical monsters were on the loose, and he didn't get out of it without a comical number of bruises on his head. He was also left somewhat disoriented...

So when he slinked back home in the wee hours of the morning and tried to clamber into his bedroom through the window, he did not realize that he was going through the completely wrong window, into the room of the one person who didn't yet know his secret!]

Comments

no worries, life happens

[sos_pilot]

[ Della is out of bed now, cracking her knuckles. Sure, the DW Doppleganger kicked her butt, but the real deal would probably be much easier to beat down, given his... morals and all - okay that line of thought wasn't working. Focus. ]

You live here? What, like in the walls?! Now you sound even creepier! You've got five seconds to make yourself sound like a sane person before I give you some bruises that match the color of your costume!

[flapsin]

Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on! It- it's not like that!

[He scrambles back and waves his hands in denial!]

No, the real reason is... It's that... Hoof. [He pauses and then looks off to the side dramatically.]

You know what? Maybe it's time. Time that you learned the truth! Della?

[With that, Darkwing dramatically removes his hat and undoes his mask.]

I am Darkwing Duck!

1/2

[sos_pilot]

[ DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!

Della gasps! Her hand goes to her heart! This... This... This...!

... Makes wayyy too much sense. She stays there, mouth open, now mentally recalling all the many, many MANY times Drake has hyped up the man in violent - realizing now that he's pretty much bragged about himself every single time.

Questions race through her mind! But above it all, one single, solitary thought conquers them as Della understands the most horrifying aspect about this revelation! ]

2/2

[sos_pilot]

YOU MADE ME REGIFT YOUR OWN CHRISTMAS PRESENT BACK AT YOU, YOU JERK! AND WHO GIVES THEIR OWN HEADSHOT AS A GIFT?!

[ This is where Della's priorities are.

Also, this is where Della's fist is going if Drake doesn't... well, duck. ]

[flapsin]

[He stands triumphant for a moment and utterly confident, waiting for her mind to be blown.

Instead, it's his head that receives a blow that sends him spinning! Even so, he squabbles back.]

Ow!! I didn't make you regift anything! You're the one who regifted a perfect present. A signed headshot of the real Darkwing Duck will be worth a fortune someday. Not to mention, it's inspiring!

[sos_pilot]

HOW are you even able to keep balance when YOU HAVE SUCH A HUGE EGO?! I've fought super-villains since I was a duckling, and none of them have had HALF of such a self-inflated image! Why don't you go to the king's castle and spraypaint I AM THE COOLEST DUCK ALIVE in magic neon?!

[ It's a good thing tire irons have yet to be invented in Avalon because THE URGE TO BEAT HIM WITH ONE - ]

[flapsin]

Actually, I took a number of ballet and aerobics classes that do wonders for keeping balance... [He declares proudly, totally getting what she means by balance.]

I think you're exaggerating a little bit! This is nothing like a villain's vanity. And I would never spray paint the royal castle. That's the work of a lowly criminal vandal! But if I could arrange skywriting over the castle... Ooh, now that would be great advertising!

[sos_pilot]

...

[ The point

his head

Della makes strangling motions with her fingers, but has enough sensibility to not ACTUALLY strangle him (yet), just staying in place while she shakes with unbridled rage. Good lord. Is this what having a brain aneurysm is like. ]

I think you need to seriously appreciate how hard it is not to hurt you any further. I have not been this thoroughly annoyed since Donald discovered grunge rock.

[flapsin]

Was grunge really that bad? [He immediately raises his hands defensively.] Okay, forget I said that!

Now, I know you seem to be angry about your own regifting habits, but look at this way! Look at the bright sides. One of your best friends is actually the world's greatest real life superhero! How cool is that? Your mind should be- it should be blown by this revelation!

[sos_pilot]

... Best friend?

[ She even points at herself in disbelief. The leaps Drake's brain goes through is almost fascinating. It should donated to science. ]

I don't even know where to begin correcting you on the many weird things you just spewed out...

[flapsin]

Yeah, I mean... I rank somewhere in there, right? We live together after all! And hey, I'm pretty sure I just said a bunch of perfectly normal and true things. Clearly you're still getting used to the shock. And probably kicking yourself for giving away a genuine Darkwing Duck autograph!

[sos_pilot]

There's an urge to kick someone, all right.

[ She rubs her temples, trying so hard to calm down. It's not easy, but she's making an effort, and he damn well should appreciate it! ]

Hnnnngh... I guess, compared to some other people, it's... better that you're here instead of them. Like Gyro. Or Magica De Spell. Or a flesh-eating virus.

[ Then again, a flesh-eating virus wouldn't say anything ever, so maybe... ]

[flapsin]

I'm pretty sure I'm better than all those things. And more! [He's a little offended by these comparisons, given what he knows of Magica. He doesn't know Gyro well, but he definitely doesn't seem like friend of the year material. Especially with the way he treats poor Fenton!]

I know you appreciated the times we've had here together. And all of the Darkwing Duck trivia I've imparted onto you! At this point, I'm sure I've converted you into a true fan!

[sos_pilot]

[ At this point, Della's sure Drake's been hit in the head (by her and various other circumstances) enough times to have a very loose grip on reality. ]

I keep getting that stupid theme song stuck in my head. I'd say that's as close as it's gunna get. And only because saxophones are cool.

[flapsin]

And the double rhyme employed in the lyrics, "When there's trouble you call DW!" Pretty slick, right? It's criminal that it's never gotten a Grammy. [A sad shake of his head ] People just don't understand true art!

[sos_pilot]

[ Is there an insane asylum in Avalon? How difficult would it be to toss Drake in there? Sure, Fenton might be a little upset, but Della's sure he'd understand. He has TALKED to Drake at least once, so he must understand. ]

... Speaking of criminal, why is it you couldn't just... go through the front door of the house where we all live, and instead broke into my room through the window?

[flapsin]

[Drake laughs and shakes his head.]

Because I was Darkwing Duck at the moment, obviously! Heroes don't use doors. They're supposed to come in through windows, or air ducts! Plus, if I just waltzed in through the front door, that would give away my secret identity. If I slipped in through my window, everyone would be none the wiser! I... I just happened to pick the wrong window on accident!

[sos_pilot]

[ Actually, isn't it villains who use sneaky ways to enter? Plus it's the dead of night? But she has a feeling he has ridiculous logic to these questions too. She's getting a headache just listening to him. ]

Whatever, whatever, whatever! I'm losing a good night's sleep because of this weirdness... do you have any idea how hard it is to sleep when you've adjusted to ten years of the sun, moon, and earth being in different places?

[flapsin]

[Darkwing Duck is the dead of the night! That would be his answer. Drake rubs his neck a little sheepishly.]

I actually do not know that! Um, sorry about interrupting your sleep. But hey, at least it's only one night's sleep. And you ended up learning the most incredible secret of the century from me! So, you are welcome.

[sos_pilot]

[ Deep nostril inhale.

She could let it go, and then let him leave, and then let this whole affair be dead and done with.

Alas. She's a McDuck. And gods know pettiness is in the blood. ]

I didn't learn "the most incredible secret of the century" from you. I already found out Gizmoduck's identity.

[flapsin]

[That stops him in his tracks, and wipes the smirk off his face.]

Wh-what do you mean? That doesn't count as all! Sure, that is something I never saw coming in a million years - how could the sweetest guy in the world be that so-called hero? But... This was much more cooler and dramatic! I bet Fenton didn't give half as good of a show!

[sos_pilot]

[ It's a pathetic victory but one victory she's enjoying. HAHAHA. Suck it. ]

You breaking into my room and getting bonked in the head by a lamp is "cool and dramatic"? How hard DID I hit you?

[flapsin]

About an 8 on the meter of things I get hit with on a daily basis? B-but, I mean, not those parts! Forget those parts. Just, just the part where I unmasked myself and revealed my identity. That one moment along had to be worth it all. You can tell me the truth. Did you feel chills?

[sos_pilot]

Only because the window's open.

[ Speaking of, she heads over to close it so no one else hears all these shenanigans. His secret is safe from the outside world for another day. ]

Are you about done flapping your gums?

[flapsin]

I don't think it was just the window! But, uh, good call there!

[He chuckles sheepishly and heads towards the door.]

I, I guess I am just about done here. I probably should get to my own bedroom, since I am kinda extraordinarily exhausted... And I'm sure you have a lot to process. I'll let you soak in the full weight of this incredible revelation in peace!