happilyeverbeginning | toss a coin to your witcher (dumb duck trio)

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toss a coin to your witcher (dumb duck trio)

"She used her dark magics on my husband, and now he sees her shadow in the mirror every night!"
"He killed an entire farm-hands livestock, all for his own twisted amusement."
"They have a garden full of statues that were once children, now frozen in time forever..."

As Scrooge McDuck - world's richest duck, famed adventurer, and also expert monster hunter - continued his research into the "mages of the mountain", he found each new rumor was more outlandish than the last. Sure, there were a few things that were consistent - the two were twins, beautiful in their own way, and fiercely loyal to one another - but after that, each new round of gossip could make them sound like petulant children or gods themselves. Whatever troubles the villagers were having, be it bad weather or failing crops, it was surely the fault of the De Spell family.

And yes, perhaps the manor of the twins - lofted right into the side of the highest hill, with decaying greenery entwined all around the massive stone steps - was a little something out of a gothic horror novel. Dark colors, eerie structure, and maybe a cracked gargoyle or two. The cry of a raven could be found in the distance. But if these twins were as powerful as so whispered, why couldn't they afford to fix the twisted rafters from the windows, or cover the drafts from moldy holes? The land itself was probably pricey property, and many would pay handsomely for it... if some particular vermin was exterminated.

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Hm. Here she thought he'd be insulted. He continues to surprise. Although it didn't like he'd be opposed...

Gah! Stop that. Magica found herself blushing even harder! She cleared her throat, hoping he wasn't noticing. "Given that Poe isn't breathing down our necks right now, he at least trusts you with me. It's a start."

After the first century and most of the people you'd grown up around or were famous when you were young were long-buried, you let the age comments go. After all, they were accurate.

"Or he hasn't figured out I'm alone with you yet," Scrooge said with amusement. He half-turned towards the door. "Do you mind showing me where the kitchen is? I'm famished."

"I could use something to nibble." Magica admitted, walking out with Scrooge.

The kitchen was clean, but that didn't mean it was perfectly polished. Like the rest of the mansion, there were plenty of broken and missing pieces, left the way it was due to lack of supplies or lack of care. Their refrigerator was an actual ice box, but at least it was well stocked with fresh vegetables and gutted fish. The pantry had about two loaves of bread, various jams and jellies, and a small box of sweet pastries for special occasions - and despite it not being one, Magica was choosing that for her meal.

It appeared that the twins being this thin wasn't a family trait, but what happened under the cruel circumstances.

"I think I remember you or your brother mentioning a garden," Scrooge said as he took inventory and started making two separate lists, one for groceries and the other for potential additions to the property. (Greenhouse so they could always have fresh vegetables and fruit on hand. Maybe a small aqua farm for fish? The waste water could be used to water and fertilize the greenhouse which could have some hydroponics elements to it to fit more into a smaller space. They'd only have to worry about dairy and bread from the village along the occasional non-fishy meat. Save them some money and further loosen the villagers' power.) "These from them?"

He closed the icebox and looked in the cupboards. "I saw potatoes and fish in there. If you've any flour, could throw together some fish and chips."

Magica nodded in answer to his question. "Once upon a time, the garden was used solely for ingredients for spells and potions... but, given the hard times we've fallen on, it's mostly vegetables now. Regardless, Poe was almost in tears when he learned I wanted to muddy my hands." She chuckled as she remembering, taking another good chomp.

"But if you want to busy yourself making something complicated, I'm not going to stop you."

"Fish and chips? Complicated?" Scrooge tsked. "Clearly you've never had real fish and chips before. Where's your frying pan and oil?"

Definitely the greenhouse. And if a good chunk of it was hydroponics, Poe might even let her grow things on her own once they were taught the trick of it.

"In the pantry... somewhere." Magica waved a hand - Poe handled the cooking (and darn near everything else) so she only a vague guess where the cooking implements were... and even less if they had what he wanted.

After one last snack, she closed the box and licked her fingers, not giving a damn for manners in the moment. "Funny enough, while he does the cooking, he has to be reminded to eat. He can lock himself away in the library for ages."

"Might want to go fetch him then. That way we can all eat. Aha! Found you!"

He retrieved an old cast iron skillet from the back of a cabinet. He looked it over with a critical eye before nodding in approval. No rust and still seasoned. Perfect.

He set it onto the stove and turned on the eye. This, at least, was gas. (Made sense given there was so much natural gas coming from the volcano.) He reached into his pocket to retrieve a lighter to ignite the burner. Then it was back to the pantry for some oil to heat up and to get that flour for the fish.

By the time the twins came back in, he had some potatoes cut into wedges and was starting to fry the fish which he'd covered in flour. No big deal. Just the richest duck in the world cooking for the people who probably should be doing it for him.

Magica hadn't planned on eating a full meal, but if he was going to make the effort, why not? It also gave the twins another chance to info-dump on Scrooge. Though she definitely didn't mention the "one to watch out for", for obvious reasons.

When they returned and stood in the doorway, the actual implications sunk in. Once again, they cocked their heads with mutual confused looks. A man so rich that millions and billions were nothing to him, and there he was, cooking fried food. He wasn't complaining about it either - rather, he was eager to do menial servant work. It didn't add up.

"He's an odd one."
"That's for sure."

"And his ears work just fine, too," Scrooge said dryly as he set a finished fillet onto a towel to drain off some of the excess oil as it continued cooking. "Once I've got the fish done, the potatoes will only need a minute or two."

"All right, let's just get this said and done with." Magica walked in first. "You're a billion-trillion-whatever-aire, and you cook without complaining or, apparently, error." Judging from the smell, it was quite good.

Poe walked in after, so he could pull out her chair for her. "It does come off as unusual."

"To answer the last part first," Scrooge began as he finished frying the fillets, "I wasn't always wealthy. My family was incredibly poor. I went to America at thirteen to start working on a fortune to keep them fed. And in case your sister didn't tell you, that was back in 1880. I worked a wide variety of jobs: steamboat hand then captain, miner, cowboy, just about anything. Every spare penny went back to my family as I wandered from job to job."

He gave a fond, distant smile as he added the potatoes to the oil to fry them.

"Didn't get rich until I was almost seventy-five when I made my first million but kept on building my fortune. I became the richest duck in the world officially back in '60 and started McDuck Enterprises not too long afterwards."

Scrooge finished the potatoes, patting them dry with a towel and divided up the fish and chips equally onto three plates. With skill obtained from a brief stint as a waiter back in the 1890s, he carried all three plates to the table to set two down in front of the twins.

"And eventually we all ended up here. Bit of a high-level overview, but I'm starved and it'd take hours to give you the full story."

They silently listened as he cooked and talked, exchanging silent looks every so often. He too knew the importance of family, it seemed.

"We don't really have anything but time here," Magica pointed out, but she was quick to eat. It smelled better than anything they'd eaten in a long time.

Poe was reluctant to eat anything oiled and fried, but he was hungry, so he ate as well - though with much better manners than his sister. "And in your... spare time, you go around exorcising ghosts and restoring old mansions, instead of going on expensive vacations and hob-knobbing with celebrities."

"Everybody needs a hobby!" Scrooge chirped. He took a few bites of his fish and chips. "But in all seriousness, expensive vacations are usually so dull. No adventure at all! And hob-knobbing with celebrities?" He shuddered. "I pretty much try to avoid that whenever possible lest I lose brain cells. As for exorcising ghosts and restoring old mansions, that's more because helping out people like you two does ultimately help me."

He took a moment to contemplate one particularly crispy "chip".

"I never want my family to go back to starvation, so I'll ensure they never have to. And now my fortune and company have gotten so big that I've got hundreds of thousands of employees whose families depend on me to put food on their tables. A crisis is a good opportunity for a get-rich-quick scheme, but what I'm after is stability. Plenty of opportunity for innovation but for the most part it's about keeping the ship steady to provide for everyone from me to the janitor and his family. The agreement I worked out with Countess Morgana, for example, was to stabilize the area on a magical front and ensure nothing truly nasty could settle in."

Aside from keeping his employees busy with all the various repairs of the Spell household, the twins couldn't really think of how helping them helped him - but then again, after the murder of their parents, people being genuinely kind to others and expecting little in return was a foreign and laughable concept. They'd never be able to repay him in any reasonable way. Once all the repairs were done, he'd wash his hands of this whole affair and leave them behind.

The food suddenly seemed quite bitter. Not that it stopped them from eating.

"Her family offered to take us in." Magica suddenly said, in a weird attempt to distract from strange feelings. "But we declined."

"Though I'm sure plenty will get a laugh that we declined aide from fellow magics, but wound up accepting a horde of mortals." Poe added with a click of his tongue.

Oh Scrooge wasn't expecting little in return. Acting as guardian of the area was guaranteed to be a fulltime job. And without having to keep an eye on the area himself, it freed him and his people up to keep the economic ball rolling.

Everybody won in some way.

Scrooge grinned at them. "Well, things have a way of working out one way or another. Speaking of, I've been doing some thinking and wanted to run some ideas by you, but I couldn't help noticing the technology in this house is a bit dated. Is that because you couldn't afford anything newer or is this what you're used to?"

"Both." The twins answered in unison.

"How can we afford what we don't know about?" Magica replied, and Poe followed along with, "It's kept us alive this long, we hardly saw need for change."

But they still desired change, if Magica's long list from earlier was any indication.

"Plus, anything new will always cost more than anything old."
"And we've been barely making ends meet as it is."
"The family's treasury has been keeping us afloat."
"And even that will run out eventually."

A fate they dreaded to think about, and could only hope was far, far away in the future.

Scrooge nodded his understanding. "Well, part of these renovations are to make it so that you can stretch your pennies that much farther. With the generator, you'll have plenty of power which means you could have a proper greenhouse. You'd have fresh fruits, vegetables, and herbs all year 'round. That'll save you plenty at the grocer's. Perhaps a little aquafarm for some fish. Could grow food for them in the greenhouse and the water cycling out of their tanks fertilizes your plants. Make it so you'd only have to rely on the town for dairy or fresh bread."

He popped the chip he'd been toying with in his mouth, chewing for a moment.

"I realize that a lot of this will likely be using tech you're not familiar with, so I'll make sure you're up-to-speed before I toss you to the proverbial wolves." He winked.

Again, mutual looks of puzzlement. This kind of technology almost sounded like another form of magic, that's how foreign it was to them. At least Magica seemed pleased by what she had understood, smiling as she thought of a larger garden and more to work with. Poe noticed her expression, and frowned a little - he wanted to stop his poor sister from working in the mud and dirt, not encourage it.

Still, reality was a harsh mistress. "They are going to wonder why we're getting all these fancy new things, while they're being left high and dry." Magica pointed out. "So perhaps a few security measures should be added to all these new features."

"Only a fool would leave them out," Scrooge agreed with a nod. "And if they want to know why I'm investing in you and not them, well, they can ask me about it. I'd be happy to explain it to them." He gave a somewhat vicious grin. "I've got these pesky things called 'morals' that they've merrily trampled all over."

"He says as if we have them," Magica replied dryly. She didn't think they really had them, only that killing all the villagers would be more of a bother than morally repugnant.

"But I doubt they could do anything really damaging in the long run, at this rate." Poe had to add. "They had their chance before our knight in shining armor came along."

"They're welcome to try. It might even be funny to watch."

The windows were going to be made of impact resistant glass designed to weather a Category 5 hurricane. Someone attempting to throw bricks through the windows would likely end up with their intended projectile rebounding and smacking them right in the face.

After how much it was going to cost to fix things up, there was no chance he was going to let it be ruined by a bunch of nitwits.

Magica chuckled, but Poe shook his head. He'd rather have trouble avoid them then invite it on in.

With the meal mostly finished, Poe was the one to get up first and gently nudge his sister to do the same. "Enlightening as this all has been, we must retire and get our beauty sleep."

Magica predictably grumbled. "I am not a child, Poe, I don't need to be told when my bedtime is."

"Someone has to watch over the most beautiful girl in the world, and that duty falls to me." He kissed her hair before taking her by the arm.

"I'll be up a bit longer but you two sleep well," Scrooge told them as he got up from the table, collecting the dishes and taking them to the sink.

Washing the dishes was always a good time to ~~plot~~ think.

When the legion of employees returned the following day, they'd find the twins weren't... well, they weren't nicer, but they weren't as cold and snobby as before. Questions were answered with a modicum of respect, and Magica even allowed one or two of them to pet Ratface. (Mostly to see them jump when he revealed he could talk.)

As the twins predicted, such a huge amount of people and supplies heading for the manor caught the attention of the village. Surely the magical menaces had spelled all of them! Why else would the world's richest duck waste time on them? Oh, how to save those poor souls!

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Had to go back and re-review 2017 Scrooge's timeline. @_@

how do you not have it memorized in your every waking second

I get it confused sometimes with "Life and Times"

unacceptable, lifetime banishment

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